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I feel I should call you Christina because I know you, even though I don’t know you at all. Yet I feel close to you, now perhaps more than ever.
Oh, how I adored the character you played in Married with Children. Back then, when the sitcom started my English was still a bit shaky but you and the other actors made it easy for me to follow. Finally on the screen there it was, the dysfunctional not so not perfect family so many could relate to. Brilliant!
TV got away from me for ten years when life got busy. I suppose that means I am a lousy, not reliable fan.
Still, I heard about your health struggles and wished you well. Breast cancer is not easy for any woman -no cancer ever is. Yet, you beat it and I was happy for you and wished you well. Genuine wishes from a stranger, heartfelt nevertheless.
I watched some of the shows you were in, even a movie, but never watched any of them to the end until the last one on Netflix. “Dead to Me” was fun to watch, and at times it was difficult to observe your transformation. Thank you for finishing it. I watched it to the last episode.
Christina, you are strong!
Why do I write to you? I am aware that you will never read this, yet I can’t help but need to put it out there, even if it’s just on my little blog. It’s not for readers or likes, not for followers or critique. It’s an urge to get it off my chest, out of my mind into the open.
In 2014 I was diagnosed with RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) one of these autoimmune disorders we don’t talk enough about. A different nightmare than yours. Various names for the monsters inside of us. Lupus, MS, RA and so many more. What a torment for the one who tries to get a grip on a disease where there are no logical answers?
Where does it come from? Why me?
When I read you got MS (Multiple Sclerosis) I got angry. I remember thinking, “Good grief, hasn’t she suffered enough, does she really need another disease, especially one as evil as MS?”
As usual, the universe didn’t give me an answer. Why you? Why me? Why anybody?
Life is not fair. Depending on what your beliefs are, the gods are not fair either.
Immunocompromised! What a word! These autoimmune disorders alter your life, slowly but steadily. Medications, hopes, and dreams, wishes whispered at night. Tears and painful smiles.
Christina, I watched you walk the red carpet the other day online, days after the event happened (lousy fan, remember) and your walking cane made me smile. You are right.
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FU MS! FU them all!
You are beautiful but I will not pretend that you didn’t change, because you have. I did too. Medications and side effects, weight gain, because all of a sudden our body comes to a halt. We were active and from one day to the next, we rest -not by choice.
I gained fifty pounds in one year, due to Prednisone and all the other little pills I had to take now on a daily base. With the medication the pain got bearable, and the inventors of the elastic waists deserve a monument. The same goes for Crocs, these beautiful stinking plastic shoes I all of a sudden felt comfortable in when my feet and ankles were swollen.
When you fight our inside, the outside doesn’t matter anymore.
Years later I lost all the weight when I came across a special diet. AIP (Auto Immune Protocol) it’s a tough one. It’s for the stubborn ones, the ones who hate to be weak, the ones who are tired of the pain, and the ones who (still) believe in alternative treatments. Oh, how I hate and love AIP at the same time. It’s not a cure but surprisingly enough, it helps me to function so much better. There is no one-fits-all solution. What helps me, might not help someone with the same autoimmune disease.
So many unanswered questions. Still, look into it and please never stop researching worldwide! India, Germany, and here in the US. So many of us are hoping to get relief.
How a lady in India impressed me. Why was she so disciplined, when I struggled so much?
I take six supplements a day, and I drink a shot of ginger and turmeric juice every morning. I suspect some of it is downright sorcery, but somehow it also works.
The weight fell off me, and so did part of the pain and the stiffness. A small reward, but a bonus that made it worth continuing. Do I pay too much and feed online stores against my better knowledge? You bet!
It will never go away. RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) this painful devil is inside me for good and no matter how hard I try, this Genie will not go back in the bottle, and believe me I tried.
Christina, you have changed too and you know it. I applaud you for walking the Red Carpet with your special cane. You made me smile from one ear to the next. We need you as a spokesperson for MS.
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I have hidden my disease from customers, and have pretended to be alright when I was in pain.
You know what I am talking about, don’t you! Humor is a magic shield.
But then the fatigue, the pain, the sleepless nights when you try to get answers. Looking at yourself but not liking what you see.
Christina, you are a very brave woman and I know you have all the support you need. I was thrilled to see Kathy Sagal beside you. At first, for a split second, I was saddened to see you vulnerable but quickly that changed.
Yes, please go barefoot and tell people that walking and standing hurts. There is no shame in admitting it. My secret wish is to have a mobility scooter in the garage, just in case. I have never mentioned it to anybody -also it’s a bit pricey, so perhaps that can wait. Who knows, I might never need it.
The neurological problems, the icing on a shitty cake.
How can my own body do that to me? How can yours do it to you?
Selena Gomes brings awareness to Lupus, and Kathleen Turner and Terry Bradshaw speak up for Rheumatoid Arthritis. Selma Blair openly talks and writes about her struggles with MS in her book. We cannot bring enough awareness to these diseases. So many of us suffer in silence and feel left alone.
I have left my RA closet a while ago. How hard it was to talk openly about my struggles at first.
You are in the spotlight, people read about you and I applaud you for your honesty. Sit down when you need it! Walk barefoot! And if you ever get a mobility scooter, color it pink and make it sparkle.
Today I let my customers know that I have RA and that there might be days when I will have to take a break, not by choice but by necessity. I mask up and don’t mingle much when I meet with students and clients and if they don’t understand, too bad. My workroom, my rules!
It’s not politics! It’s not rocket science! It’s my health and ultimately my life!
This disease does not control all of you. You are still witty, funny, courageous, and very beautiful.
MS is tough, but so are you!
Sincerely,
Bridget, a lousy fan.
I’ve just started following your blog (8/2024) & I found this tonight. It resonated with me in a very personal way … I think that’s what you said to Christina Applegate. With no family history at all of cancer, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008. 6 months of chemo (& a number of wigs later) I came out the ‘other end of the tunnel’ a changed person. How could any of us NOT be?
A retired OR RN of many years I launched my own campaign to get the word out to as many women as I could about BC, early detection & positivity. I still speak to seminars about the subject.
From that point I was offered a chance to host a local TV talk show & did that for 6 amazing years … interviewing ordinary people that do extraordinary things. I wrote & published 2 books. I’m writing a successful blog about many subjects. I’m president of a local non-profit that supports 10 charities at Christmas & annually sends a local student to NASA’s Space Camp for a week.
Breast cancer made me realize we aren’t guaranteed second chances & I was determined to try all the things I’d always wanted to do but never had time for. It has been a beautiful experience.
If anything can be said in FAVOR of breast cancer, it is that it pushed me to do so many wonderful things I never would have tried. Trying them was so much better than just balling up in a corner & crying. SO, BC gave me a new enjoyment of life & an appreciation of it.
I am so pleased to have met you through YOUR blog & look forward to reading what is yet to come.
First of all, I am glad to know that you kicked cancer to the curb. Congratulation!
Thank you for sharing part of your journey so openly with me. You should be very proud of all you have accomplished.
Isn’t it interesting. So many of us grow the most when we feel the lowest.
I am very proud of you and I hope it’s ok to say it.
I am glad we met and I am looking forward to get to know you better.
Thank you SO much.
At the end of my BC seminars I ALWAYS tell my audience that we never know what we can do until we try & we never know how strong we are until we HAVE to be.
😊
That was so touching, I don’t have words….
Thank you and welcome! 🙂
I hope your post is found by many others struggling to make sense of their own RA or other autoimmune disease. You may have once fallen into the lousy fan category, but this beautiful post more than makes up for it. If you haven’t yet read Selma Blair’s memoir “Mean Baby,” I highly recommend it. She has an interesting back story but her journey with undiagnosed MS is quite a struggle. She and Christina are good friends. There’s a lot to learn about fortitude and strength under pressure from both of these young women. Again, I think you have a lot of wisdom to share, and I’m glad you do!
I read “Mean Baby” it’s a must read for everybody who is dealing with an invisible monster like MS, RA to name just a few. Looking back I know I had RA already 2010 when we lost everything. I believe it came out with force when I quit smoking.
It must not be easy to be in the spotlight and dealing with it. I at least could hide when it started. Gosh I should have patented my pitiparties.
As always, you bring to light what someone else may be going through, with words of encouragement. Love this post
I am so glad Christina Applegate showed herself on the red carpet. I know that wasn’t easy, still she did it and with that alone she brings so much awareness to a disease that so many have to deal with. I couldn’t help but writing this post.
I lay here tonight with my laptop breathing through the pain. My neck and shoulders have been at a 4 the last few days, but I think today maybe it was a little better. I am slowly altering my diet in hopes to combat some of my fibromyalgia demons. Isn’t it great though when we can find someone else who is fighting too. It gives us a little hope and courage we can make it another day. Incidentally Invisible Disabilities Awareness Week is October 15 – 21 this year in case you are interested. Stay strong… it is what we do!
We learn to live with the pain. It’s fascinating how we adjust when we don’t have a choice. I am sorry you go through so much pain. I wish there would be a cure for all of it.
One would think with all the years of medical research that we would have a lot more cures than we do… but you can’t rush science. Here’s hoping it is a low pain week for us both! For all of us with invisible illness!
👏👏👏❤️🙏
You are tough and beautiful, too, Bridget. A thoughtful and inspiring post. 🌼
Thank you, Michele. We are all beautiful -so they say- it just takes the right one to look at us. 🙂
You are welcome. Absolutely, yes. 😊
Oh, she can’t be in that much pain…she laughs.
Oh, she talks about fatigue, she’s just lazy.
She’s not really handicapped, she looks fine.
Yeah, BS! Because people can’t see it, they expect you to be “normal.”
I have a friend with Fibromyalgia. She has to deal with this on a daily basis, and it really wears her down to put on this face of “I’m ok. I’m happy,” all the time. So not only does she have to deal with the constant pain, she has to deal with the emotional disconnect between what she feels and how she expresses herself.
It’s because we get raised to lie.
“How are you,” is answered with, “Fine thank you,” even though we are not fine at all.
Talking about being sickness or gosh forbit death, it’s nothing people want to hear about.
We are supposed to be happy and healthy, slim and beautiful.
Inspirational, Bridget
Well said. Sending hugs to you and everyone who suffers, often in silence. And maybe those of us who enjoy good health, should appreciate it more. 💖
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I feel pain daily in smaller or larger doses, but realised long ago that it makes other people uncomfortable when I draw attention to it. It is one of those things made difficult for there is no outward sign of what goes on under the skin.
I am so sorry you have to go through this. All the best.
There are so many hidden disabilities and so many are too quick to judge when they have no idea what people are going through. To Christina, to you, and to far too many, I send love and hugs and a wish for any small amount of ease that comes your way.
So far *knock on wood* right now it’s not a disability but rather an inconvenience on my end. I have felt so much worse and now I am doing everything I can to stay at the level I am right now. May pain (if even) is on bad days a 4 but mostly only a 1-2. So I am lucky?
I appreciate your well wishes very much.
As for Christina Applegate, I have nothing but respect and love for her.
It must be hard to be so well known. She has not much space to hide -not as I could.
😊🤗
I feel for Christina, and for you, too. I wish I had something clever to say. Instead, I’m thinking about the round of steroids I’m on at the moment.
Every day is a challenge, that is for sure. But keep hanging in there. I wish you all the best. 🤍🌺
Steroids what a curse and what a blessing.
I hope you will be feeling better soon.
As for not knowing what to say. I think we all have that feeling because we don’t talk about ‘stuff’ like that as openly as we should. But that’s just my theory.