Porch Pirates, just like the car alarm?

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5:55 am today. Life at its best.

My husband, who just left to go to work, came back into the house, shouting: “Honey, porch pirates got into a box last night.”

I am upstairs. Sitting on the bed, I am trying to sort my brain, locate house shoes, listen to BBC News, and get a dog off the bed.

“What?”

Husband from downstairs: “Can you hear me?”

Me upstairs, “What?”

Husband, now louder repeats himself, “Porch pirates got into a box last night, it’s empty they got everything.”

I am now on my way to the bathroom, wearing both houseshoes but still without brain: “What?” (very lady-like indeed)

Husband, now at his last nerve and eager to get out:

“I put the box on the chair,” then I hear the door shut, a minute later I hear his car leaving.

I brush my teeth, comb my hair, take a shower (not in this order), and somehow still try to wake up, “What box?” I mumble to myself.

About twenty minutes later I enter my winter sewing/workroom in our home and look for the box. Nothing, no box. I go into the kitchen, start the coffee maker, and look around. No box either. Then I go into the living room, open the blinds, turn off the outside lights, feed the dogs, put water in the bow, and while completing the rest of my morning routine, I still look for THE BOX or any box. Nothing. Nowhere!

At 7 am, now at my desk, armed with coffee and a bowl of my overnight oats (yes I often have breakfast on my desk) I open my emails, and then, while eating, I scan the room again for a box. Nothing!

Just an empty supply box is sitting on one of the dining chairs I have to finish today.

Now with a little bit of brain, I wonder, “Didn’t I bring this out to the trash yesterday? I guess not.”

I call my husband as I do every morning. To wish him a great day and again he mentions THE BOX.

During our conversation I check Amazon. Maybe they delivered something early and in the middle of the night?” Nothing was delivered.

“Honey, where was the box.”

My Honey: “They hid it behind the trashcan, it was cut open.”

I look at the empty supply box on the chair. The long small box, normally full with metal tackstrips. So I had thrown it out and now I remembered. Yesterday it was too cold to break down the box, so I put it behind our trashcan. My husband brought our trash back into the house.

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We both laughed!

But think about it, this is how ‘normal’ stealing has become now. We kind of tolerate it, we don’t even bother calling the police, we just accept the fact that sooner or later some low lives (or should I call them criminals) will follow delivery trucks and will steal what is rightfully ours, right under our noses.

In comparison!

It’s a bit like a car alarm that we all hear, but nobody bothers to look outside anymore. We just mumble, “Turn that darn thing off,” as our neighbor could hear us. We don’t care if someone steals a car or tries to break into a car. We continue watching TV and wish for the alarm noise to stop. I do wonder how long the alarm sirene has to continue until we finally get up.

I also wonder how long it will continue that porch pirates steal our packages, now even being filmed by cameras, yet still, there are no consequences.

I don’t get it! Do I ever?