“Get To The Point”

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I believe that we always carry the best version of ourselves within us. Deep down, we are all peaceful, radiant, loving, and wonderful. (Please, don’t burst my bubble!)

However, sometimes, this best version of us disappears, and the drama takes over. Suddenly, we don’t feel good anymore, get angry or become sad, feel powerless, maybe frustrated or left alone, and a whole wave of feelings washes over us.

So often, I watched helplessly how I got involved in the drama around me or created it myself because if everybody around me is a drama queen (or king), why shouldn’t I be one too?

But that’s over! I took a few small steps that really helped me let go of the drama and get closer to my best self again. (Rephrase, Bridget, and tell the truth!) I cut the drama out of my life, by the root, dramatically. 🙂

It’s like a Chain reaction

The key for me was to understand how the chain works. It’s actually very interesting. I see and hear something and – poof – there comes a colorful bunch of feelings. Actually, it would be cool if I could really use it. However, my head is programmed (by me), and so I react with excitement, anger, or irritation – and that through my thoughts, which I have not consciously chosen or examined.

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Perception is always subjective, that’s what I know today. What we see and hear first passes through a few filters that protect our heads from the maximum overload of information. They are supposed to filter out what can be of interest to us in any way from all the unimportant. Lately, it has gotten more complicated. The information happens so fast that our brains can not keep up with filtering anymore – at least mine couldn’t.

How we evaluate the world we see and the people around us – all of this depends in large part on the truth we have made up for ourselves. Which rules we think we have understood and each of us thinks we have understood IT – but actually, since our earliest childhood, our brain has been rhyming a lot of nonsense about ourselves, about the world and others. For example, neighbors can feel very differently about whether the street is safe and whether today’s youth is lazy or not. It depends on what they believe, and that, in turn, depends on how they perceive things and then evaluate them.

How true is our story?

How right or wrong you are, you’ll probably never know. There would have to be some kind of superordinate referee for this. Of course, there are social rules and justice (or there were), but are these the points in the everyday dramas? Who has to put away the socks and when, and whether the neighbors can have a party? Should your partner do this and that, or should this strange car be parked differently? We judge – and get angry, sad, or frustrated. We don’t know if our story is true at that moment. Maybe the parker was in a hurry because someone was sick? Or he simply didn’t see that he was parking the whole sidewalk? And we walk past his car, shaking our heads, and get upset about this reckless driver.

In the end, we only annoy ourselves with the drama. We spoil the day, the moment, maybe even friendship, marriage, or life. So maybe it’s better to come back to peace and love and stay calm? To invite more serenity into my life and to be able to let go of the drama, three simple steps help me.

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Name it!

In order to recognize the drama, it is time to clearly name the feelings. Whenever my neighbor came around, I felt stressed out. She made my head spin. All the stories about people I don’t know – or I don’t care about. Her neverending sharing about her life is always the same, yet she shares it anyway. Her religious believes that she wants me to share so badly. Her gossip, her hypocrisy, all of it was too much drama. Now, when she comes around, I smile, and I interrupt her nicely. “Get to the point,” I say, and it irritates her. Come to find out she doesn’t have a point, or very seldom. She just comes by to interact, to have an out of her own boredom, to check on me, to get out of the house. I am training her to tell me, and it’s as rewarding as dog training. 🙂

The news here in the US. An endless drama created on purpose to entertain us. Get over it, you all~! The tariffs are taxes if they stay, but they are not meant to be enforced; they are a threat so we get what we want. The US has too much debt, and it’s expensive. We owe China so much money, and all we pay is interest, if even. The goal of the tariffs is to change the conditions of the loans. Preferably for 100 years and interest free. This goes for every other land we own money to, and there are many. Case closed! Drama over!

Another small example

A car driver drives in front of me (stupid from my point of view, of course, otherwise I wouldn’t get upset). I start cursing and I get angry. This is where the real art begins. I notice the anger (that was difficult to learn, but now it works well) and say to myself inwardly: “Aha, I feel anger.” Then I may continue to get upset: “Yes, of course I’m annoyed. He drives like an idiot too!” which brings me to feeling two – anger and accusation. I’m judging right now. If I continue here, I’ll probably end up with “I’m really better – the others really drive like idiots” which would be something like pride and I can say to myself “Ah, now I’m praising myself, putting myself above others. That would have to be pride.” and so on and so forth.

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Look at what you’re thinking

What I want to say, thoughts come as they want! It’s crazy! And if you’re not careful, everyone makes some feelings. You’d better take a closer look. It works great because you get out of the emotional loop and realize much sooner that you have a choice. Try!

Recognize the story

Look at the story. Ask yourself, “What am I thinking right now that is causing me these stupid feelings?” And look at all the beliefs, assumptions, judgments that you take at face value – and that’s just because they come to mind. Take a close look at it and find the cause, the reason for your feeling. All those sentences like: “The others do that extra!”, “If he/she loved me, then would…”, “You just don’t do something like that..” or “I still have to do that” – look at all your stories. How do I know? They are my stories too.

Think about whether you want to keep them and whether they are good for you. I’ve cleaned out some stupid thoughts, and I’m still at it.

Rewrite history

What can be a good reason why this is so? What could be a good reason why someone would do this? What could be a thought about yourself that could be good for you? And check those ideas and have fun doing it. You can think, “The colleague always gives me all the work because she’s so lazy herself and doesn’t get anything baked” and feel better about it (after all, you’re the hard-working one) and also feel like a victim (the only poor one who always has to do everything). So definitely, thoughts on the situation that will do your ego good. But you get annoyed over and over again. Is it worth holding on to the idea then? I would say “No.” So, what could be another reason for this colleague? Maybe she’s overwhelmed? Or does she have so much to do at home that she can’t do it all because she’s so knocked out? Try to look at yourself and everyone else with kindness and see the wonders of this world. We all do our best. Every day.

Back to peace

It’s a daily task. It helps me to meditate in the morning, and therefore, I start the day calmly. I start my day with laughter, and I promise myself every day to see – and find – the good around me.

As for the Drama?

Get to the point!

Daily writing prompt

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

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