At the moment my friend called herself an alcoholic, I knew she was telling me the truth. She had let the Gennie out of the bottle and there was no putting it back.
“Do you have a problem with alcohol?” “No Sir, I have a problem without.”
Tag: <span>Memoir</span>
Who else would understand the love you have for your pets, then another pet owner who feels exactly the same way? The response to our provoking housing ad had been overwhelming, and just what we had needed. There was hope and it came in form of dog owners and pet lovers. Many were reaching out to us, sometimes only to wish us well.
Sunday morning when Kurt came out of the bedroom, I had to hold back laughter. Wearing new stiff jeans, new cowboy boots, a striped shirt, and a brand-new jacket, he looked like he had just stepped out of a western movie. All that was missing was a cowboy hat, which he showed us later.
When you travel to Africa, North America, or Asia, and you walk away from the typical tourist attractions you will see people sing and laugh, and you will be surprised to notice that often the loudest laughter and the greatest joy comes from the poorest of the poor.
Friendship! How do you even begin to describe what it means and how it feels? It’s like trying to explain the weather. The heat of the sun, the softness of the rain, clouds moving in the sky, the silence before a storm, the smell of snow -we all experience it differently. My husband frowns when he sees snowflakes, and I get a dreamy smile on my face.
The Holiday Season is a time of reflection. Like a silent movie, the memories of the past and the faces of people I have loved, play in my head. I was sitting outside on the screened-in porch. I could hear them talk, I could hear them laugh. I had called the dogs and had stepped outside for a minute. I wanted to be alone. Christmas evening is special to me and 2009 was no exception. To this day I insist that MY CHRISTMAS is celebrated on the evening of December 24th, the Austrian way.
For the first time in my life, I felt anxiety. At times I felt unsteady, a little bit off-balance, especially in the mornings. One night, when I woke up and turned around, the room started spinning. It scared me. For a couple of seconds, it felt like my eyes were rotating as well. What was happening to me?
“Maybe God is punishing us,” my husband said and once again I envied him a bit.
Twenty years earlier I had followed him in the bedroom a few minutes after he had just gone to bed. I had an idea and needed to tell him right away. I opened our bedroom door and shared the result of my brainstorm with him. I didn’t get an answer. I whispered his name, wanted to make sure he was still awake. Again, no answer. He completely ignored me, or he had fallen asleep in under two minutes. Then, right when I tried to close the door quietly, willing to wait until the next morning to share whatever I had thought couldn’t wait, I heard him say. “I was praying.”
I sat in the living room, and when I looked outside, I saw all the dogs run down the gravel road. Our three big dogs were in the lead, our little dog and her mom, my friends’ wiener dog, were right behind them. Somehow they had gotten out and they run as fast as they could. I didn’t even ask permission, grabbed my friend’s car keys, went outside, jumped in the car, and followed them.
December 2009 would be the last time the three of us would have a good time together. Everything would change on New Year’s Eve. For the moment my life was still in order, as much as a life that just fell apart can be in order, to begin with. With the loss of responsibilities, there comes a feeling of freedom I did not expect.