I am so excited! Coal is coming back. I am not sure when and exactly how, but we here in the U.S. decided to go back to basics -whatever that means. Screw the alternative energy, that’s horse-hockey. We don’t need windmills or solar panels, we need good, old coal for something -not sure what.
I can’t wait to shovel coal. I saw it once in a movie, and it looked like so much fun. The women carried coal in metal buckets. Imagine that! No more gym, no more weightlifting ladies; we are going to transport coal buckets back and forth. How is that for a six-pack?
All the stupid regulations that left us all way too healthy. Hallelujah! We got rid of them. Clean drinking water! That’s no fun, where is the challenge in that?
Clean energy! “Humbug,” I say. We are no sissies here in the USA, we can manage poisoned water and polluted air just fine. If it doesn’t kill you right away, it will kill you slowly, there you go. “No risk, no fun.”
This will be great, we will be even greater. “Screw you world,” we put America first. Not sure in what, but we will be first.
While we are at it. Can we get rid of these stupid CD’s and bring back the good, old-fashioned vinyl records, record players, and tape recorders? No more online tunes; let’s make the music industry great again. Get the people back to work.
Now I am all fired up. Rotary phones! Lets’ bring them back as well. Somewhere out there are people who made these phones -and if we are lucky, they are still alive. We can’t ask them to change, that would be rude, we need to bend over backward (or jump backward) and let them have their old jobs. Bye-bye cell phones!
I am having so much fun; it’s like stepping right into an old black and white movie.
And now I have to go and surf the internet for water filters, breathing masks and an old stove, for all the coal I will be hauling into our basement.
“$%&@…we don’t have a basement.”
Well, isn’t that great, now we will have to move. It’s all so exciting?
[…] via Coal and more coal — The happy Quitter! […]
If you have any coal left over can we have it here in the UK please? We will need it to power the steam ships we will build to fight a war with Spain over Gibraltar’s sovereignty. After all, Rule Britannia and all that…we will need a few more ships than the 7 frigates and 1 and a half Aircraft carriers without planes that we have at the moment!
You are too funny!
I have my moments. 🙂
We have to laugh so as not to cry, right? It’s almost unbelievable. I shake my head and think WTH every day.
I’m just so DONE … stick a fork in me and turn me over … of government and the complete insanity that is happening that I refuse to allow any more of my energy to be sucked by anger. No way! I will live and laugh and be filled with wonder and JOY and I KNOW that by doing so I am feeding Light. The more of us do this and the more of us live life by the Law of Love the more CHANGE we will see and this insanity will cease. Loved the satire and I did laugh. But I am DONE getting upset and focusing on sh*t. I’ve gone back to MY LIFE and living simply in respect and Love for ALL. Anger? All that does is feed that sh*t and I aint doing it any more. <3
I think sarcasm and satire, is my way out of this insanity. I too prefer to laugh. I refuse to give in to this insanity, instead try to find a way to cope with it that leaves me smiling. (If that makes any sense)
Perfect sense. And in so doing you refuse to feed the fear and anger. Good for you!! 💖🌹💖
[…] The Happy Quitter […]
While you’re at it, though, be careful with those web searches. Since your information will now be sold you probably don’t want to be assaulted by adds for those breathing masks. And you’re right! Who needs clean energy! My granddaughters can fend for themselves when they’re older, right?
You crack me up, Bridget. Love the tongue in cheek. It’s so insane. We sit here and shake our heads.
Bridget needs a *like* button on comments, because every time I read one of your comments on her blog, I want to shout ‘yes! yes!”
It IS insane. It’s so incredibly stupid, if we don’t laugh, we’d all be crying.
I feel the same way, Joanne. I laugh, and then feel guilty for laughing at something so horrible. And then I laugh again because making fun on the insanity is one way to RESIST!
I refuse to take that government seriously. It is a travesty and doesn’t deserve to be treated with any decorum.
Bullies hate being laughed at, so I say, laugh hardily!!
I am not easily defeated and refuse to give in to this insanity. Sarcasm is my way to get my point across. Some of it is surreal (to me) that I just can’t help but have to make fun of it -or I lose me last marbles.
We can’t have that. Satire away!!
Knowing that I could make you laugh about something that’s actually sad makes me happy.
Satire is an extremely powerful agent of change! Keep it up. 🙂
I don’t have a “like” button on my comments? Well….I need to check it out.
woohoo! 🙂
This is a brilliant piece Bridget!!
Thank you Lisa, I am glad you liked it.
This was Brilliant.. Absolutely Brilliant Bridget.. Just read the whole thing out loud to hubby… He is of the same opinion as you.. What the*** 👱 is he doing..
Not to mention the amount of laundry and cleaning one will have to do if/when ‘coal’ becomes an industry standard again. That soot is real. Black. No self-respecting house wife will allow that in her home. What would her man say? After he comes home from the office, he wants a cold martini, his slippers and paper (and probably a pipe) and some peace and quiet. Yeah, the 1950s were a great decade, but to me? Time has marched on. We know more than our counterparts in those times. And Utah is a big ‘coal’ state. We have active mines…near Price, Utah. Recently I heard of a bad cave in or explosion or something – the miners were glad to get out alive! Yeah, coal. What a great idea!
Well, she can’t bring him the slippers anymore. In today’s word the woman has to work as well to make ends meet.
All of this puzzles me.
I’m too angry at the stupidity of it all to comment on this (which was a great piece of satire, by the way). Let’s make a few rich people a lot more short term profits and to hell with long term viability.
I am very angry. Like you, I find it rather stupid and satire is my way to let go of some steam.
The ignorance behind all this, that’s whats so hard to understand. We won’t be able to compete with the rest of the world anymore. I do wonder how the future generations will judge us. I have a feeling they won’t be kind.
No problem with your satire – it was very good. “We won’t be able to compete with the rest of the world anymore” -that- is exactly what those in power don’t seem to understand.
Given the Orange One’s inability to spell he probably meant to say Make America Grate Again. Fossil fuels are ridiculously outdated and dangerous. The Times reported today that there are over 2,000 deaths a year here in the UK from airborne waste carried from the U.S. and China. Not that he would understand or care anyway.
I find it hard to believe that they can trace airborn waste back to it’s origins, given the fact that there are some other countries in between the USA and the UK. But hey, more power to them.
Clive, I don’t know why we do what we are doing. Nothing makes any sense, at least not to an educated mind.
We burned coal in the 1940-50s and it was no fun. Coal had to be carried up from the basement. Wait that is men’s work, I wonder why I always needed a coal there wasn’t any. I had to get it.
I seems to a woman’s job all over the world. No telling why.
This entire administration is a joke. I hope we all survive. Everyone who isn’t a 1%’er is in danger.
I watch this all with so much disbelieve. I can’t shake the feeling of that I am stuck in a never ending nightmare, kinda like Groundhog day.
Ha! No doubt. I believe we’ll be ok, and this failed experiment will go down as an afterthought, eventually. I can’t even watch the news. Likely won’t for the next 3 1/2 years either. It’s nauseating.
Another false promise from Agent Orange. Coal jobs will never come back because even places where coaled is mined most of the mining is now done by machines not miners with shovels and pick-axes. This is just another fool idea that will back fire on Agent Orange. I can’t find it now but there was a recent article in the New York Times listing why this idea is a failure from jump street. However there are always people dumb or desperate to believe the past will return. Except for clothing styles that does not happen and the reason Clark Kent is still looking for a phone booth to change into Superman!!
Gosh, is that why I haven’t seen superman lately because he can’t change clothes. Poor guy 🙂
I try to find something humorous about our current situation and I have to say, it gets harder and harder.
Listening to Trevor Noah helps. https://youtu.be/2aNaY9QDTuM