In many ways, I live in luxury. A great luxury for me is to be able to choose the people around me. I don’t have to deal with everyone who gets put in front of my nose. I spend time with most people because I want it that way.
Since I have this freedom, I feel better. I am more balanced, rarely get angry, I don’t lose my energy so quickly, my self-esteem increases. The people around me play a big part in this. They are interested in me as I am in them, they help me, they are happy for me, and most importantly, they are honest with me. In short, they are people with a good heart.
Not everyone has a good heart because they help someone, nor is someone a bad person if he is selfish or complains a lot. I consider myself to be reasonably kind-hearted, but I have my selfish moments.
We humans are not one-dimensional, not black or white, but complex beings. I realize I prefer to surround myself with people who have big hearts.
I truly believe most people have a good heart, often, however, it is buried under low self-esteem. It often depends on the way they were raised and the negative experiences they made, or the fear of being hurt. Sometimes you just have to dig deep enough. For myself, I can say I feel better the more open and honest I am, the higher my self-respect, the better I can show my heart.
I believe our heart gets bigger after every loss, with pain and grief, every time we hurt or have to deal with misfortune. When we had hit rock bottom, I felt overwhelmed with love for others who were less fortunate. What we live through can better us in many ways.
I want to believe that I have a good heart. I have been raised that way. So, if I have a good heart, does it mean I am a good person?
No one in this world is free of mistakes and that’s a good thing, otherwise, humanity would never learn. The ‘good person’ is an ideal we can never achieve one hundred percent, therefore, we should stop wanting to be ‘good people’ and instead try to do good within our means.
When I omit the plastic bag at the checkout in the supermarket, I know that alone doesn’t make me a good person. However, I also know that every day millions of people make the world a little better with small contributions like this.
Small changes! Small gestures! Big results!
Those born with a humble heart know the greatness that hides behind small gestures, they know that a gesture, a hug, a few uplifting words, and a shoulder to lean on are worth much more than any material object.
Is a good person born or made?
In neuroscience, many believe that goodness is innate in humans. It is firmly linked to our biology and a component of positive psychology. Childhood experiences, parenting style, social and educational context, and past experiences could be responsible for the development of this type of being.
You are not automatically a good person if you go to church and pray a lot. Not everybody who believes in a God has a good heart. Sometimes the greatest sinners preach the loudest and the most humbled servants pray quietly.
A good person is able to show compassion for his fellow human beings. He feels the pain of the world and makes it his own. Therefore, every day he tries anew to create an external balance in order to give himself and his fellow human beings a good feeling.
Goodness is selfless and does not expect anything in return. Good people with big hearts put their priorities on the back burner, they have no demands or accusations, no need for fame and glory.
A good person has firm values in place and is focused on doing the right thing -not just the right thing for them. It’s a lifestyle. A follow-through with actions.
If I die tomorrow, I hope I was good enough and if I wasn’t, I tried.
All we can do is keep trying to do our best. Great post!
I hope to read a book called Humankind: A Hopeful History by Rutger Bregman, for an upcoming class. It “provides new perspective on the past 200,000 years of human history, setting out to prove that we are hardwired for kindness, geared toward cooperation rather than competition, and more inclined to trust rather than distrust one another.” I hope Mr. Bregman can convince me!
Good luck with your hope to read a book. 🙂
I think this is a really thoughtful essay, Bridget, and you highlight what for me is important, and that is assuming that most people are doing the best they can. We are not all “good” or all “bad” when we fall short. I think we need to be more understanding of our own weaknesses and those of others. At the same time I am like you in being fortunate enough to primarily surround myself with people I find pleasant and compatible. Kindness and tolerance does go a long way, though, doesn’t it!
As I said, I hope I will never be judged by my thoughts. 🙂
COVID and Trump have made me more selective when it comes to friendship. There is only so much BS I can take. 🙂
Oh wow, i love this, really enjoyed reading. Indeed goodness is much needed in the human race. And the conclusion is so stunning and memorable:
A good person has firm values in place and is focused on doing the right thing -not just the right thing for them. It’s a lifestyle. A follow-through with actions.
Quite adorable! 👏 ✅❤💕
Thank you for reading and commenting. I am not sure if I meant it to be ‘adorable’ but I take it. 🙂 Have a great day!
Oh, I’m sorry I used the term adorable to express kindness. I meant to say this is so despicable. You’re most welcome and Have a great day too. 🤗🌟💕
You have a very nice way with words. It reminds me at Africa or myself, who is using this beautiful language quite fluently, even though it’s not my native language.
Thoughts sound as ever
I love your post. I think we can only try to do our best and take personal responsibility for how we live our lives – regardless of how we were raised.
I like that you mention ‘personal responsibility’ that’s something we don’t hear too often these days.
It is the only thing that empowers one to make the changes one needs to make in one’s life . 😳
Oh Bridget, I try. How I try to be the best I can be, yet fail in so many respects. Thank you for this heartfelt piece. We need a reminder to keep on trying.
I do to and I wish I would be more consistent. But at least we are trying.
I’m not sure it’s a question of either/or. Born or Made. Perhaps it can be both. I do believe we are born with goodness in us, but what happens is like a seed that has been planted. I try, but there are days I fall short. One thing I do also believe is others see how we live our lives. And I also believe what you give out comes back – maybe not right away, but eventually. Even if I am totally wrong about what I believe, I want to be a good person. So, I’ll keep trying, and everything else doesn’t matter.
That is all we can do Bridget, try our best!🤗
You would think but looking around me here in the U.S. I feel that many have decided to not even try.
We see the same here, and it seems to be an increasingly familiar trait. We have to hope that good will always prevail.