All in, Please

Why isn’t this sign in every lady’s room?

The original “Ask for Angela” campaign started in 2016 in England and is known here in the U.S. as The Angel Shot. The way it works is simple if a customer asks for an Angela or an Angel Shot they feel unsafe in some way. The staff can respond by helping them to leave the place safely, or even by removing another customer who is making the person feel uncomfortable.

A discreet sign in the restroom, making women aware that they are not alone. If things go wrong -and we all know it can go wrong- go to the bar and place your order.

The Angel shot is not actually a shot, but a way to ask for help.

Order an angel shot neat and a bartender will escort you to your car. 
Ask for it with ice and the bartender will call a taxi or Uber for you. 
Order it with lime and the restaurant staff will call the police.  

Imagine how much safer every woman would feel, knowing they are not alone and there is a way out?

Estimates suggest that at least 25% of women in the U.S. have been sexually assaulted and at least 50% of all violent crimes, including sexual assault, involve alcohol consumption by the perpetrator, the victim, or both. Researchers have consistently found that approximately 50% of all sexual assaults are committed by men who have been drinking. 

It’s the nature of THE BEAST that we will never know the real numbers. Victims often don’t come forward and also many would never admit that they had to ask for help. It’s still something we don’t talk about openly -as we should.

I have been dating as well when I was young and found myself 38 years ago once in a situation that we now describe as sexual molestation or sexual harassment. I wasn’t alone that night, another girl was with me and when the guys dropped their pans (and they did) we made out safe. We did the right thing, knowing we were not alone. I always wondered what would have happened that night, if it would have been just me and one guy.

No woman should ever feel that they are forced to do anything against their free will, because they fear the man they are with, or feel very uncomfortable and helpless in a situation.

This should not even be up for discussion and it shouldn’t be opposed by anybody. Hang this, or a similar sign, in every female restroom. The shots can have different names, use your imagination, use any code you want, but give the ladies -your daughters, sisters, nieces, and friends- the chance to get out and the feeling to be at a safe place. Is it really too much to ask?

All it takes is initiative and all that’s necessary is for all the waiters, bartenders, and bouncers to know the codeword.

That’s all and this world would be a little bit better for many.

How it started in the Great Britain:

The idea of Ask for Angela was sparked when woman recalled going on blind dates when she was younger. “When I was single and would meet people off dating sites I would always bring a friend with me, who’d sit in the corner of the pub and read a newspaper and I would do the same for her,” she said. “This got me thinking –what about people who don’t have a friend willing to do that, or don’t want to bring a friend with them on a date? How can we keep those people safe?”

Although many believe that the name Angela symbolizes a guardian angel, that wasn’t the woman's intention when she named the campaign. It is in fact named after a Angela, a friend of hers, who died after being struck with a hammer by her husband of three months in 2012. She was a mother of three.

If I would be still going out on dates, i would make the owner of my favorite bar or restaurant aware of the campaign. The more will know about it, the more will participate.