I have written some – and have published none

I was stunned -and somewhat amused- by the number of posts I started writing but never published on my blog. Some of them are just thoughts, ramblings, speculations, dreams, and wishes, while others are biased and opinionated pieces in the making.

Through my looking glass! That should be the new category IF I ever have the guts to publish all my hidden trashy treasures, the unfinished thoughts, the not laughed laughter, provided I find the time it takes for the fine filing -and there is much- not to mention the editing I still do now and then, even though I have the tendency to overlook -and over read- a lot.

Treasures or trash?

The decision-making. Should I really post this? I know I will swim against the stream again in most of my unpublished writings. Some posts are political, others just cynical, and some are humorous. How can a woman not make fun of the fact that we once again lose our rights?

So much history, so many puzzle pieces, so many memories!

Opinions of the day. Do they still matter weeks later?

So many thoughts come to my mind, like the gun post I started writing last week, that brought me back to India to a time when I thought a pistol had been aimed at me.

I was foaming out of my nostrils when I started typing. I wrote what came to my mind, and then, as usual, I got sidetracked but continued writing because, in my mind, guns and the time I spent in India are woven together, just like ants are with religion.

I have published some of my thoughts, but have been very careful lately. Am I risking too much? Am I willing to lose the arch-conservative readers, who don’t even remember why they once have been attracted to my blog, to begin with?

And on the contrary, am I willing to attract the ultra-liberals?

Am I scared to lose the likes I get from readers who don’t even bother reading?

Are first-generation immigrants and Americans by choice even allowed to criticize the land of the free where so many people are incarcerated?

Should I write about swimming with a dead king, something I remembered when I watched Queen Elizabeth II. lying in state? Now, weeks later, who would care?

And then it hit me. I am writing for myself -and often to myself. I have never written to please others. I have never written to collect LIKES or FOLLOWERS -even though both are nice. I love the communication with other bloggers and cherish most of the comments.

Blogging is my out(let) when there is too much pressure in the cooker when I fear the lid might blow off (or my head might split open).

I write, I get it out of my system, then I forget about it. Why bother publishing it? Why risking to be too opinionated?

But since when do I play it safe? Answering my own questions: Since never!

So I have thought it might be fun to go through my draft posts and refresh my memory now and then. Why not share some of it? I should finish my poem about Bitches!

Winter is coming, football is on TV, and the puppy is growing up. In a few months, the busiest season in my business will be over and I will have more time.

Blogging never gets old, does it?

Through my looking glass!

I think I like it!