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I haven’t been blogging much lately. Every time I sat down at my desk with the intention to write a post, our now nine-month-old Vader laid down at my feet and looked at me with his puppy eyes. Perfect dog owners don’t grow on trees, they are carefully trained by their dogs -and I knew I had to spend more time with him.
They grow up so fast and he is trying to act mature already, even though he fails miserably at times. The puppy dance, the floppy ears, the nose under my arm, trying to steal a hug. He is a busy bee, trying to figure out why licking the glass door is not the same as cleaning it. So precious, so entertaining.
I used him as an excuse for a blogging break, but deep down I knew better.
So much has been on my mind lately, and a lot is considered to be non-blogging material if one wants to believe the self-appointed blogging experts.
I started to write a post about police brutality worldwide. I wanted to remind the US that’s is indeed a global problem. I requested to look deeper and wished to involve all minorities and especially women in holding cells and prisons, but I never published what I wrote. I feared it would be too political, too honest, too downright down to earth perhaps?
Too much negativity, and too much politics. We are all in self-preservation mode. Let us keep our sanity, please! But will I stay sane if I close my eyes (and ears)?
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I wrote about the black anthem, something I never knew we had, and wondered if it was needed. My European soul has many questions, so many will never be answered. How do we unite if we divide more and more? How do we bypass pigment and race, if we point it out every chance we get? How do we overcome our differences, when we are made aware of them every day? Another subject that makes people uncomfortable these days and so another post ended up in the draft folder.
A pope died and I wrote about how I had met him so many years ago. “The crying nun” was the title of the post. Would it offend all the religious people in the US if I would honestly admit how much I disliked him and his behavior? Probably and so another post bit the dust.
Black history is important, but so is the white, Asian, and Hispanic history -and all the mistakes that have been made. Banishing movies and books for racism is like bleeping out curse words and sex scenes out of movies, pretending it just never happens -oh, wait we do that already. ‘Delete, delete, delete’ and so it went in the trash bin, I skipped the drafts altogether.
So much on my mind is not funny but I am.
Should I confess how much I love the new show “Ghosts” and how it makes me giggle like a little girl and how it makes my husband chuckle? Or does it make us look like fools?
Yet, I want to write about police brutality, and dead floating migrant children -because I am named after one.
I want to write my heart out about an unconditional love that for a short while became a love that asked for certain conditions. An ultimatum was set (by me) but again, it might be too honest. Bloggers are all happily married (always) or divorced, and then they write about their miserable, lousy exes. Sigh!
Where does it leave me? Admitting our marriage had hit a rough spot last year. How would it make me look? A temporarily Unhappy Happy Quitter? Another paradox in a life full of contradictions?
Perhaps I should write about my struggles to be nicer to certain people, and how I find myself guilt-struck at times because I miserably fail and seem to behave the same way when similar situations occur. Once again I slammed the door at the census lady and lost my temper at a poor guy somewhere overseas who tried to help but wasn’t helpful. Yet the census lady and I had a reunion, one I am proud of. I was nice and pleasant, but stern and made myself heard. Issue solved, case closed!
Nice? Hmm!
This year, right after New Year, I got my behind kicked. I failed a project because I ignored my inner voice. After years of professional praise and success, I finally made a customer very unhappy, and wondering now, how can I make it right, so I can look in the mirror and still be proud of what I do?
I am human, but on my blog, I need to shine. Or perhaps I don’t? Just like I tell Vader “Be a good boy” am I supposed to be a good girl at The Happy Quitter all the time?
Perhaps we grow as bloggers, writers, and storytellers and sooner or later we all come to a crossroads. Perhaps that’s the moment when many bloggers close their blogs for good. Should I do the same?
Or should I continue but not write about what’s on my mind? Nine years after I started my blog I am not sure anymore.
I have been struggling with blogging. If I continue I will blow all ‘blogging rules out of the water for good.
That however would be so me!~
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I started my blog 8 years ago and it took off like a rocket. I was excited and immensely proud. At the time, it was a miscellaneous blog, talking about any subject, while drip feeding some of my fiction work now and then.
Then, kids came, we had to move house, jobs etc etc and then, my blog died.
Getting back into the swing of things has been extremely difficult because, I have loads to blog about, but nothing to write. I don’t quite have the same issues you are facing right now but, your post was a refreshing read. Thank you.
Just write and blog and don’t overthink it. It’s your corner -do as you please. 🙂
Hello! Take time to write and enjoy posting. It’s your way out to your readers. Have a great Sunday. Please visit my blog, follow and comment to my posts.
Have a great Sunday as well. Happy Easter!
When sitting to write you need to first write for yourself. Write something that you would want to read, something that moves you. Honesty like that jumps off of the screen and is apparent to your readers. I’m not sure where I heard this, possibly a book or another blog, but I think it’s good advice.
I think it’s normal, especially in the creative realm, to question ourselves. We put ourselves in a very vulnerable position by sharing the things we blog about, or the songs we write or the pictures we paint. We put our raw emotions into these creations for the rest of the world to see. It’s not, however, so important that everyone likes what we create. What’s more important, to me, is that hopefully at least one person will be moved by what I write, or create, and they will then be inspired to do something great, for themselves or for someone else.
One final thought on this. When you write the things you want to write you are creating your legacy. For as long as the WordPress servers are running there will forever be a record of your thoughts and opinions and of the things that are important to you. Why water it down? Your legacy should be a reflection of what matters to you. Your legacy should chronicle the things you are passionate about.
Be you…it hasn’t failed you yet and with your honesty I doubt it ever will!
Well, you shared a lot and very. honestly within this post, so your truth squeezes in no matter how careful you proceed. I think those of us who have known you in this medium have a deep respect for how you do follow your own instincts. You’ll know when it’s time to share on some difficult topics. I have much more going on in my life than I will ever share on this blog, even though at times I’d really like to. The posts last forever and I just feel very protective. But I still encourage you to share anything that is heavy on your mind and heart. I always enjoy your perspective, Bridget.
You struggle with blogging sounds very familiar. I’ve dealt with the same issue of how much, and how personal, it share. I enjoy your writing …and that is what s important. I figure share what you want, or not, as it is all good. By the way..your pup at your feet has the beat attitude, namely…relax.
I am glad you enjoy reading what I write. Vader, the pup, is just very sweet and very loyal. While we saved him, he saved us as well. Isn’t it how it always goes.
Yes, a rescuer can also be the rescued.
In the years we have been blogging friends, Bridget, I have learned how honest you are. If you write from your heart some may disagree, but many will not. Incidentally, if only fools watch Ghosts that makes Jackie, especially, and me fools.
Years have passed, yet we are still blogging and get to know each other better and better, so the distance between us doesn’t matter anymore. I appreciate your comment very much. Thank you, Derrick.
I think you should write what you want to write about unapologetically despite what others think or say. The way I see it, it’s almost as if it’s “darned if you do, darned if you don’t”. Whatever you choose to do, someone is going to criticize it, whether if it’s good criticism or bad.
So in spite of that, I think you should continue, but if it ever ends up being more damage to you than good (like taking a toll on you), then I would completely understand hanging it up.
By the way, I think this is a great post and it tackled a lot of subjects.
Continue to express yourself here. I think it’s good for society.
I never had to apologize for what I say, because I always mean what I say, but in writing it’s different. We (or I) have the tendency to get carried away. I start writing about something and then brain and fingers seem to take over.
Yes that’s very true. I was just finishing up writing something just now and the amount of ways I got carried away… LOL.
But I do agree, writing something doesn’t allude to tone or the way one may receive said content. We do live in a hyper sensitive society (in my opinion), so even saying something on your own platform (literally you own it, LOL) could get you “canceled”. So I do share in your slight worry.
But despite that, I just hope that it doesn’t stop you from letting your light shine. I believe it gives hope to others all around the world.
“Hyper Sensitive Society” sums it up.
I had a lot of input, which left me feeling better. I am not the only one who reevaluates her blogging existence once in a while.
Thank you for your honesty. Having spent much of my life as a good girl (not counting the years between 18 and 23), I say, we don’t have to be good girls on our blogs all the time. In my opinion, it’s nice to have a mix of heavy and light and in between which you often do. Police brutality around the world is important. Sometimes I think it’s just the US that’s a mess, but that’s not entirely true. I did not know there was a black anthem. I’ve enjoyed Ghosts, too.
I am mostly a good girl, but I don’t seem to have a filter between brain and mouth, which makes me often look bad.
I think you nailed. As long as I keep a healthy balance on my blog (and in my mind) I will be fine.
<3
I was wondering why you had gone quiet, Bridget. Like you, I have oodles of drafts, pieces jotted down to get to later, but later never comes and the moment passes, sometimes for the better. Especially if I am angry or highly motivated when I write it. I have around 180 drafts from 11 years of blogging.
This is a poignant question:
How do we unite …..How do we bypass pigment and race, if we point it out every chance we get? How do we overcome our differences, when we are made aware of them every day?
Bridget, this is important! You raise critical thought-provoking issues and while everyone won’t like it, if it is on your mind and your heart wants to write about it for others, then do it. Spread the word by blogging to the world from your own perspective because – in a world that is getting narrower all the time in terms of published opinions, blogging offer a different perspective – a voice independent of big business/tech/media monopoly forces. We may be sometimes pleasant, sometimes cutting and if we post something offensive that someone dislike, we find out about it via our comments. In reading and responding to those comments, we might also shift our own opinion slightly due to the comment potentially revealing a perspective hitherto not considered. (or perhaps not but that is okay too).
Blogging is like a river, sometimes changing course, sometimes flooding, sometimes blocking up and diverting to paths of least resistance and ultimately reaching the delta and the ocean and running out to sea. I hope you haven’t reached the ocean yet!
I like you am searching for answers and I get made to. It’s so upsetting to see how much manipulation is done by the press and social media outlets.
I loved your last paragraph. I would like to copy it and use it for a blog post with pointing to your blog, if you don’t mind.
By all means, Bridget. I don’t mind you copying those words, at all, or altering them, as you see fit. I appreciate the shout out.
I’m with you Bridget. For me writing a blog is about discovering a voice, being me, attempting honesty, humility and integrity, and appreciating that others – like you – are trying to do the same…. and that others see things differently!
What I have always loved about your blog is that you tell it like it is Bridget. We’ve had this discussion before and I have always believed that we write for ourselves. If someone reads it, all well and good. If they disagree, that is their right. we are all entitled to our own thoughts, our own opinions, and we are all entitled to be offended by something someone else writes. We are not, however, entitled to demand that someone must not say, or write, something just because a single person is offended. Nor should we be obliged to apologise in such circumstances. The world is not going mad – it is already there!
Bridget I feel you! I too have started then stopped, thinking why would anyone care about reading this? I want to be myself, as I always have, the honest, this is me- but also wondered if I am too much of a downer, or complainer. So I trash, delete, or just don’t start. Your posts are always so well written, so honest, it would be a shame for you not to share the important words you do. When I began blogging what I loved was I always felt this was a non judgmental place, a place of safety where I could be open and honest. I do believe it still is. <3
Brilliant blog! You just ‘be you’. It’s your blog and I love the honesty of it.
Readers before me have said it and so I will add: blog only when you feel like doing so; blog about whatever you feel like writing about; express your own feelings and opinions; comment on whatever you wish; but I would enjoy it if you did not withdraw forever.
I suppose I don’t want to bore people or confront my readers with subjects that they try to avoid.
I would miss you and others as well, which I didn’t think of until you just brought it up.
I didn’t even know there were blogging rules or things we weren’t supposed to write about! I consider my blog as simply that. MY BLOG. It’s what I want to write about. And I follow your blog, because it’s YOUR blog. It’s your voice, your concerns, your views. Life is always a mixed bag. Funny stuff, heartbreaking stuff, serious stuff, ridiculous stuff, the lot. I appreciate many different voices and points of view – might learn something new. Keep blogging whatever it is you feel like blogging. Your blog, your rules.
Social media comes with rules if we like it or not. The way we ‘behave’ will dictate if we are liked or disliked, if people will follow and/or perhaps even read what we write.
I like the ‘mixed bag’ comparison.
Blogging rules? I don’t think I ever subscribed to that, but then again, I mostly write about food. You are a writer, and as such you should write about what you want! Isn’t that what it’s all about? Writing is a way of venting, a way of expressing, a way of commiserating, and mostly a way of sharing feelings. Sometimes those feelings are happy, sometimes not so much. In this world today, it is hard to just get through a day without feeling frustrated by the news.
If someone doesn’t want to read about a current issue, they can just move on to the next story, but I have observed the most intense topics, get the most responses.
💕
Kinda like a therapy, isn’t it. Writing about what is on our mind, dealing with the ugly and the good. That’s a very good way of looking at it.
That’s life, the good the bad and the terribly ugly!
If I had that puppy looking up at me I’d do less blogging for sure. Vader is adorable. I have hit my usual six-months “lull” on blogging. The blog I have now isn’t my first. The prior ones all were deleted after determining it was too difficult to carve out time and/or I had life requirements that superseded blogging. I think the blog is “safe” for now. As for getting into topics that might be considered “charged,” I would like people to always be able to express themselves freely on any serious topic. That’s not for me in the “social” world we live in now, but I’m always going to be the real me when I post about anything, You have a very thought-provoking post here, and I’m betting a lot of people are right there with you.
Vader is a heartbreaker, a little clown, a gentle giant (now 75 pounds not ten month old). Training me, the human, takes time so it seems. We enjoy spending time together. We bond and learn, day by day.
I don’t (always) mean to be thought-provoking, it’s kind of a natural gift (or curse).
Is it a mid-blog crisis? 😉
~David
Nope, the ‘mid’ is behind me since nine years. It’s an downhill crisis 🙂
I hope you continue to share your thoughts, Lady Bug, but the decision is yours. I have been blogging for five years, and I’m considering giving it one more year, then taking a year off. (A Sabbath-type thing)
“How do we unite if we divide more and more? How do we bypass pigment and race, if we point it out every chance we get? How do we overcome our differences, when we are made aware of them every day? ” You hit the nail on the head. The very people who claim they want to unite us are sowing division at every opportunity. All we can do to resist them is to continue being kind to one another, whether we agree or not, maybe even listen to perspectives other than our own.
Someone dear to me has recently gone in a different direction and posted a long piece about how she has evolved. One of my friends responded with “I am a conservative Bible believing Christian and a loner and the biggest sinner ever… ” and followed with (I thought) a very thoughtful comment about the failures of people, including “Christian” people, etc. She responded with merely “You lost me at ‘conservative.’ ” This is one who considers everyone else prejudiced, intolerant, etc. *sigh*
The constant, daily reminder of how different we are, divides us further. It’s the black actress, not just an actress. The Asian/African American woman, not just ‘a woman’. I have traveled the world. I was born in Europe. I remember places like London and Paris. I can’t remember the British calling them Indian-English or African-Britain, neither do the Austrian call people Greek-Austrians, or Hungarian Austrians.
It bothers me ever since I came here, which was in the 80s.
It’s the hypocrisy, too. The people who accuse their opponents of being racist are the ones who are constantly pointing out what color everybody is. Martin Luther King dreamed of people being judged not by the color of their skin, but the content of their character. What happened to that dream?
I wish I could answer the question. I am a woman and loyal to my gender, I don’t care about color, I see people. I wish the press would stop dividing us, I wish we would be one and truly equal.
Your words reflect my feelings exactly, however, yours are so much nicer than mine would be. These phrases resonate with me: “How do we unite if we divide more and more? How do we bypass pigment and race, if we point it out every chance we get? How do we overcome our differences, when we are made aware of them every day?” Great post, and I adore your pup!
Thank you so much for posting this! I seem to be suffering with a blogging crisis similar to yours! Your honesty here is very welcome and appreciated! ❤️
We live in a world that forces us to pretend a lot. Our ‘online persona’ is so often not who we are in real life. I try to avoid this, have adjusted the sails a bit, but I am not willing to give in completely (yet). Perhaps I am too old, or too stubborn. I want to be me, online and offline.
I agree! Suffice to say I have been procrastinating with my writing…
Perhaps I have been waiting to read your post. You wrote your concerns down so eloquently!
I feel that there has been so much dissent in the world that I am lost at where to even begin, so I have been silently watching…😊
Looking back, I have certainly grown as a blogger. I have also learned a lesson or two. I watches interesting blogs fading away with constant repetition, week after week, year after year. The same old, get’s quickly old.
I look at my blog as a bulletin board but also a possibility board, sometimes even a memory board “don’t forget.”
There is so much on my mind, it’s scary. 🙂
Having taken a bit of time to mull over your words, I have come to realize that we as authors have a certain responsibility to put our words out there. If we become overly fearful of publishing our work because of sensitive readers, then we have already lost our own freedom of speech. Part of what we do is bring awareness. Hopefully, that awareness fosters healthy discussions!
I am very grateful that you shared this post!
It has helped me greatly! ❤️
Oh wow, that’s a good point. Losing the freedom of speech and doing it to myself, while trying not to hurt other peoples feelings, I hurt myself. I needed to read this, thank you.
You are so very welcome! Had not it been for your post, I may not have clarified my own thoughts! Lol