…
Do you remember how you imagined your life as a child or teenager? Have our expectations been fulfilled? Are we living a supposedly good life?
Am I living a good Life? Or is your life better than mine?
What is a good life anyway?
- Does it depend on what I do for a living?
- Is there a need for a special status quo?
- Do you have to have a certain look?
- Is it important where I live?
- Does it matter who I vote for?
- How do you live?
- Does my car matter? My clothes?
- What role does my appearance and figure play in this?
I deliberately asked these questions because I find them quite silly. For me, a good life is a life that you can always choose for yourself within the range of your possibilities and then live it. A good life is an honest life, which means to be honest with yourself.
Of course, we leave out strokes of fate, but also exaggerated demands on life. Because let’s be honest, which of us is going to be a princess?
Ok, so I am not a princess but can I be the queen of my life. Who’s a millionaire? I am not, yet I feel immeasurably rich. We have to see it and live it. Or?
…
Am I living my life?
Short question. Short and longer answer. Well, yes, but…
There were (and still are) situations in my life where I questioned it ALL and myself most, yes. And yes, there are also things that I would like to have differently or would like to change.
However, these things are smaller clouds in my sky, so they are not powerful enough for me to act on and not important for the answer to whether I live my life -or a good life.
Yes, I live my (good) life, a good life! Even on the days when I would like to wear boxing gloves and punch someone, I still live a good life.
Because I have a choice and I have chosen. To be here, to be me. The latter was the hardest part because I see myself as everything but by no means mainstream.
That doesn’t mean I am not average, just a different average. Perhaps more average than average? Ordinary average 🙂
Away from higher, faster, further
I refuse to participate in competitions of any kind. That’s why I don’t read blog statistics and try not to compare myself. I don’t step on the scales (also I never got used to the American pounds and the kilograms confuse my husband) so I avoid it altogether. Which isn’t always easy, is it? You read not to lie about your weight? Now you know why. Because it doesn’t mean anything to me. If the jeans are tight, well that’s a different ballgame. Darn washer.
Of course, it is my desire to be good at what I do. I make an effort. I do go the extra mile -if it seems worth it. I am not aiming for perfection anymore, I aim solely for excellence -in all. But I don’t rush for it, I don’t bend over backward and I don’t pose on Instagram or anywhere else. As a matter of fact, I don’t pose at all -I just noticed that for the first time. You find me behind, but rarely in front of the camera.
You guess you have to take me as I am and I hope you do.
I also like to rest and rest in myself. That doesn’t mean I don’t want anything anymore. It means seeing what I have and what I have achieved. And then to decide if I need it or want it. I am part of an us. What we achieved as a couple is pretty impressive as well -in our book.
Actually, I am very sure that what most of us have achieved is no small thing for any of us. My moments of happiness and your moments of happiness might be different, yet they are the same.
…
…
Not a must, but a desire
I don’t have to prove anything to myself or anyone. Of course, there are certain things I need to do. But I do this for myself (us) and the common good, not for some weird comparisons or recognition.
What I don’t need anymore
- I don’t fight anymore unless I want to
- I don’t have to prove myself, I just want to be me
- I don’t need a trophy, I’m happy to receive real recognition
- I don’t want any more energy-sapping relationships
- I don’t need a maybe
- I don’t justify myself (anymore) for my way of life
What I would like to have
- I want to rest in myself
- I want to trust and be trusted
- I want to be thankful
- I want maximum fun without losing my seriousness
- I will give my love and affection to those who appreciate and accept it
- I want to be content with what is and how I am
- I want to be content with what I (we) have
- I want people in my life who see exactly that in me and know how to take me that way
Now that I’m writing it’s become even clearer to me. Yes, I’m living a good, maybe even my (currently) best life. I’m happy every day, I find the glow 99% of the time. I am still curious and hopefully, I will develop further. The journey hasn’t ended, but now it takes me places at my chosen pace.
Do you live a good life?
I am kind of in a cold medicine haze so I hope this makes sense….
Your first image reminded me of the Shakespeare quote, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” (my therapist reminds me of that all the time)… I guess I feel we don’t need to struggle with our life making it good, because of balance it will not always be good there will be some bad too. But if we accept and embrace it all then we can maybe say it is our best life. And we can live with that. 😊
I love the Shakespeare quote. I think we all get the good and the bad, just in different forms. We often envy the rich and famous and they often envy us. So much money can’t buy.
I defnitely like your “words to live by,” Bridget. I feel very much in tune with the same emphases. I think the one thing about me that keeps me in a reasonable balance is that I am not competitive. I don’t need to have the last word. I don’t need “things” to soothe me, and I’m now at an age when I really value each day just because the sun came up! 😉
Isn’t it funny. With age we don’t feel the need to compare ourselves anymore. We gain confidence, not just years. 🙂
This is a huge benefit of getting older and wiser. I related well to” I refuse to participate in competitions of any kind. That’s why I don’t read blog statistics and try not to compare myself.” and stepping away from energy sapping relationships. Contentment and gratitude are much healthier.
I like that about you JoAnna. You know where you stand and what you stand for. You have no need to compete with anybody (but you). 🙂
It’s taken me a while to get there. 🙂
The great thing about getting older is that we don’t have to prove ourselves anymore. People have to accept us (or not) for what we are. As I’ve said, many times, I am content, my wife and I are content. We cannot, and should not, ask for more.
My life isn’t perfect but it is a good life for many of the reasons you listed. I met a Buddhist monk in Thailand and he gave me a word. That word is “enough”. I agree that at some point we need to say it is enough. This western attitude of always striving for more (of which I have been guilty) eventually takes its toll. my life is not exactly what I planned but in many ways it is even better. xo
I love this, Darlene. “Enough” such a powerful word. In relations with other people, in our lives. To be content and happy with what we have. That’s what it’s all about.
Great post!!
Fine reflections on the theme. Your word ‘content’ resonates with my life now which is a good place to be
This is an excellent piece. I feel blessed with what I have, no matter how humble, and rich in the relationship I have with family and friends.
You have a fine and perfect outlook on life. Keep it up, especially during power outages *grin*.
Golden Rule is a good place to start.
It seems to be a forgotten rule.
Being humble, kind, and giving are good foundations for happiness. 🙂
I love this post Bridget. Too many people think stuff and money brings happiness and satisfaction. I like Abe’s take on it all and the thoughts about separating needs from wants. I make no attempt to keep up with wealth, possessions, fashion, make and model of car. All I attempt to keep up with is time well spent and memories made. The rest will take care of itself. Have a great evening. Allan
Pretty much, yes I do, Bridget. Maybe not as good as you, but that’s a judgement, and we agreed not to get into all that comparison stuff. As you say, we’re given each day and it’s up to us if we want to be happy or sad, critical or selfish. I can be all of those things but mostly I choose to be ‘good’. To be kind, to smile and make the world a better place. I often fail. I can tell from the frown on his face that I’m not being a loving partner. I have a sharp tongue. He’s hurtful too, sometimes. But each day we can start again. And be grateful that we can.
Jo, your honesty is refreshing and I applaud you for it. I have a sharp tongue myself (go figure) and I am quick with sarcasm. I can hit and hurt as well BUT time has taught me to sometimes count to “3” before I open my big mouth. Actually I have to thank my birth giver (mother) for it. The things she said in her drunken rages are still on my mind 54 years later. I was just a little girl, yet I never forgot. If words have that power -any words- them perhaps it’s wiser to be careful. I am agnostic but tend toward Buddhism. They actually acknowledge that words can be used like a weapon.
You are a good person and none of us is perfect. Our partners know how to ‘push’ our buttons and they push on -and so do we.
I hope we’ll meet one day.
We have that in common, Bridget. Mam and Dad separated when I was 5 and there was an awful lot of shouting and throwing of high heeled shoes before that. I mostly ducked behind the settee. Life is definitely better now. Thanks for listening.
I am sorry. I didn’t know you had a similar childhood. I am glad life is better now 🙂
No worries. It’s a long time ago 🤗🩷
And yet, when we think about it, it feels like yesterday. 🙁
🤗🩷