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Oh yes, there is that one question I hate to be asked, because I hear it all the time, almost on a daily base, for nearly 40 years.
Where are you from?
As many of you know, I was born and raised in Europe, right between Austria and Italy. Some of our fields and our mountain cabin belonged to Italy, while our farmhouse stood in Austria. The border had been moved after WWI and we – and others – ended up right in the middle.
When I was in my early twenties, I fell head over heels in love with an American and moved 3000+ miles away, so we could start a life together. I have lived here in the US for almost 40 years and you would think I must have lost any accent by now. Wrong! I haven’t. It’s still there like a tattoo on my forehead. Honestly, I never tried to lose it and why would I, it’s a part of me and my life.
I meet new people every day and I enjoy it, but each and every time there is the same question “Where are you from?”.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing to hide and don’t mind telling people where I am from, but sometimes -actually quite often, I am in a hurry and I just want to check out and be on the go again. Then it’s aggravating, because I know there will be more questions “Since when are you here”, “What brought you here” and many more.
It also depends on the way the question is asked. Don’t let me sit there in a restaurant forever and three days and then finally come by to get our order and start the process with “I love your accent, where are you from?”
It’s not just that I don’t want to share or have something to hide, it’s more complicated than that. Perhaps it’s not complicated but rather simple. I am not every day in the same mood, so depending on my mindset (and humor) there is a variety of different answers I give to the same question.
So many possibilities!
1) I am in a good mood, have plenty of time, and like the person who asks, then I tell my story and where I am from.
2) “From the North” is one of my favorite answers, because it’s not a lie and saves me some time as well. Italy and Austria are north enough :-).
This is my standard answer when I am in a hurry or don’t like the way I have been asked. Although the response is often entertaining “Ah yes Boston…that’s what I thought”. I don’t know why they put me toward Boston, but it’s amusing and it always makes me giggle inside. I played in a bowling league for many years. My nickname? Mrs. Boston! 🙂
3) “Could I continue checking out without sharing my life story with a stranger, please?” Yes, I have to admit I have used C, not too often, but I did. What can I say, Menopause?
4) I continue the rest of the conversation with a different accent. I can sound like someone from India, which is very entertaining considering that I have blonde hair and blue eyes and look like an Amazon.
5) I ask a counter-question. Where are you from? Because fair is fair.
There was a time when I didn’t even mention Austria at all. I only said Europe or Italy when I was asked. Once a friend wanted to know why don’t talk about Austria and I explained it to her. “80% of the time, when I say that I am from Austria, I get the same response Ahhh Kangaroos or my favorite Do you miss the Kangaroos”.
For this question, I have a different repertoire:
A) “Not Australia. I am from Austria, the little country in Europe between Italy and Germany.” (Maybe we should rethink the Leave-no-kid-behind-policy?)
B) I just smile and don’t say anything, because I don’t want to embarrass the person who asked that question.
C) “Only the Mountain Kangaroos, they yodel so nicely”. What can I say, I have my wicked moments.
You don’t believe me? We even sell T-shirts and signs.
…
I love the humor & especially the kangaroo sign. Just funny.
I guess I kind of hate, “How are you?” For most people it’s part of a greeting & they don’t really expect … or WANT a true answer. It’s just conversation. Rarely, but I do do it, I will give the person a REAL answer, which has the effect of stopping them from EVER asking me that question again … LOL
I get asked all the time if my parents are white because I’m an African-American with Blue Eyes
I can imagine.
Same here I’m born in France and raised in different countries due to my parents job as a child so I can get enough of this where are you from all day long due to my accent. Even more exhausting when they want to know in details 😩
“I can’t get enough of this…” Do I detect sarcasm 🙂
I’m French, I grew up in Germany and the US and my face doesn’t really look French (as I’ve been told by some Germans). I totally get what you’re saying. Sometimes I welcome the question, because it helps me explain. But as you said, ir really depends on how it’s asked.
Most people will hear what they hear, so a lot of times I just roll with it and play different characters. When I did end up becoming friends with the people who asked, they’ve always been understanding about why I “lied.” As a teen, moving back and forth all the time, I had characters, names, everything. It was always fun. My friends kept up too. And egged me on. 😀
Oh I so get the character thing. I love being the Austrian with an Indian/English accent 🙂
😀 I had names, siblings (basically my friends) and back histories. Funny you should mention that, I just revived an old blog (idea) yesterday, which is about me being French and having an American accent in French.
I think you’re immediately judged by your accent. It’s done unconsciously most of the time but still annoying.
I hope we don’t judge people by accent, but we ‘place’ them 🙂
Great post! I’m an American living in Africa since 1987 and I’ve not shaken the accent either. While I speak many local languages, when people hear me speak English I’m a dead giveaway!
I am telling you, it’s like a tattoo on our foreheads 🙂
I hate this question but for a different reason. I’m biracial but born and bred in the UK. I get asked this all the time and when I say ‘I’m from the UK’. I get no, where are you really from? 😱 if they wanna know my heritage that’s what they should ask 🤦🏾♀️
Do you ask the same questions and give it right back to them?
Haha I do. I didn’t use to but after about the 50th time of being asked I started to.
ohh that’s definetely something never came across…
I’m asked the same question but not so often. I think it’s fair to ask the same question to their question – “how about you? Where are you from?” It usually deflects the conversation to another topic.
I’m from India.No questions to get like such:!
Never really thought of these questions
Wow, I never thought about it until you said something. I see now how that can be vexing.
I can be a bit annoying 🙂
Now, I will try to slide into the conversation and not lead with it. It does seem to be the first thing that comes to mind.
I get asked about my St Louis accent sometimes, but it’s not as frequent as your questions.
Of course it’s the first thing people notice and sometimes I am close to ask the same questions, especially if I think people are from India.
I’m a Nigerian man in Lagos
I am a migrant in Australia and I get those comments too about Australia and Austria haha plus when asked where are you from and I say Australia they look at me funny because I am Asian. Do I have to explain? 😂😂😂
Oh my, that must be confusing for people as well. An Asian in Australia. Well, at least you guys really have kangaroos.
I saw one of those signs/tshirts when I visited Austria. Even took a photo of it. If you had a mind to do so, you could fashion a tall tale about being one of the Irwin family’s European cousins, just to make them think a bit more.
When I hear people ask someone this question, I squirm for that person. It comes across as accusatory in tone, even when it is not meant that way. I empathise with the person being asked. Why not get to know the person rather than go straight for the origin question? And Boston… sheesh…
Having said all of that, it is often assumed I am British…..pfft.
The signs, t shirts and mugs are a tourist attraction that’s for sure. I am used to the question, just like any other foreigner and most of the time I don’t mind.
Depending on who you ask, we all have an accent 😊
I tried this approach ones 🙂
This is one question a lot of people ask me too, due to accent and trust me, at times is sounds annoying because I perceive such people as being tribalistic. However, I’m quite adapting. Thanks for sharing😊
Thanks for reading 🙂
This one’s so funny to me, because it’s my life in Bavaria. I was chuckling loud at ‘the North’, because this is such a common question I get here; whether I’m from the North. Yes, I suppose…
I love that you never lost the accent. I often tell my international students the same when they apologize for their accents (happens too often). People should take full pride in accommodating others by speaking a second (or x-th) language. Showing your heritage is cool!
Everything is north, kinda, isn’t it?
I can lose my accent, because if you are fluent you hear it yourself, but I decided not to 🙂
I decided to speak imperfect Northern German as well. I’m proud that I’m not from here, but can deal with all the challenges that come from living here, professionally and privately. Not necessarily proud of my own country per se. But it’s part of my story, and that’s what matters!
It is said that Austrians speak German which is only part true. We speak proper German (only if we want to) but actually we speak Austrian-German that is different the same way the Swiss-German is. As for me. I can sound like someone from Hannover IF I want to.
Haha. Yes, I’m quite familiar with the Austrian version. I can pick out things, but honestly it often feels like a different language to me. Particularly if they have no clue that they’re talking to a Dutch guy bluffing his way through Germany 😂.
Oh how fun, “bluffing your way through Germany.”
This is a very wholesome post, I couldn’t stop smiling🌟😊
I like that
I can totally relate to this one. As a Black American abroad, I’m often asked where I’m from and people expect me to say someplace in Africa or the Caribbean. When I say USA, it’s often followed by where are you really from or where are your people from. I’m like Black people have been in the USA for nearly 500 years even before the colonies were established. We came with the Europeans. It baffles me how many people don’t know that. I’m American. That’s it!
I never understood the “African American” term we use here in the US. That theory would make me an Austrian-American or perhaps a Pale-American. In most countries like Austria, Sweden, Germany and many others there is no race, the are all Austrians, Germans or Swedes. Race and color divides us, so why go for it?
The color of your and my skin might be relevant if we rob a bank or have committed a crime and they try to identify us, but no bank or doctor’s office needs to know what color our skin has or what gods we pray to. That’s at least my humble opinion.
80% of the time… wow, geography is bad! I do like the response of the mountain kangaroos though ha, ha, ha!
Geography is not a strong subject in American schools. Ask the pupils to find Luxembourg or Ecuador on the map and you will be in for a suprise.
Actually it would not surprise me in the least, likely they would be lost.
Good points. I like your sign. Many of our second and third generation immigrants with different accents according to their UK birth, can happily reply “London”, “Birmingham”, or whatever.
The sign is hilarious and always makes me smile. The accents in London are particularly interesting.
I hate it when people asks me this question, too. Does it matter where one is from? This is the US – a nation made of immigrants. If I was in a good mood, I used to tell people I’m from China but then there would be follow-up questions which would frustrate me because I was born there, sure, it doesn’t mean I know everything about the country.
No it doesn’t matter but people are curious and I dont’ blame them. I would lie if I would say I never wanted to ask the same question.
A very interesting reading and i liked the option 3 the blunt answer which is where one needs to get to stub invasive questions.
Nothing wrong with being blunt as long as you are honest.
Australia! That is just hilarious, Bridget. My grandmother left Scotland when she was about 16 years old, and 70 years later she was still being asked where she was from! It is really fascinating to hear how you truly lived on the border of Italy. Your stories are so interesting, and I think as people meet you they are likely drawn to you, which then adds to their curiosity about you. I can imagine it gets a little intrusive, however. I think you should start telling people you ARE from Australia, and see how they puzzle over that! LOL!
It’s a bit intrusive but it often depends on the tone and the way I am being asked.
It’s so much easier to answer if you are treated with respect.
I smiled and laughed through this entire post and am still smiling, Keep them guessing!
I am glad I made you smile.
I think you should add “I was raised by wolves until the age of eight so have a bit of an accent!”
LOL why did I not think of it:-)
Your response to the daily writing prompt is both humorous and insightful, providing a unique perspective on the complexities of identity and the sometimes tedious nature of repetitive questions. Your varied responses to “Where are you from?” highlight the blend of frustration, amusement, and the desire to connect (or not) based on the moment’s context. It’s fascinating how a simple question can open up so many avenues of conversation, reflection, and sometimes, misunderstanding.
Given your creative approaches to answering and the experiences you’ve shared, have you found that any particular response tends to lead to more meaningful conversations or connections than others? Does changing your response based on your mood or the situation help you manage the repetitiveness of the question in a more positive way?
We are all just human and we react so differently -even in situations that are so familiar.
Laughter or a hidden giggle always puts me in a good (or better) mood. As for the Kangaroo’s it’s sad that so many don’t even know Austria.
From the North, haha.Have you ever been back to your hometown?
No, it was a small village in the Alp. I left the farm when my grandma died, moved to Vienna.
I get asked this all the time here in Spain. In fact it’s usually, “Are you American?” I normally smile and say, “No, I’m Canadian.” But sometimes I just say, “Close enough.” and carry on. (I wonder if Americans ever get asked if they are Canadian. I doubt it.) I love your from the North answer. That covers a lot!
“Close enough” That’s just like Austria and Boston 🙂
You certInly don’t write with an accent! In fact, you have a great command of the written word, Bridget. 🙂
Thank you, Nancy. That means a lot.
You’re welcome, Bridget.
“Do you miss the kangaroos?” 😱 OMG someone teach these people geography before they leave high school! lol 😂
Austria is a very small county, a former empire, which is hardly known. When I mention Austria people mention either Kangaroos (bad) or Hitler (really bad) or Schwarzenegger (also painful) or Sound of Music (terribly painful). Honestly I don’t know which is the worst answer.
At times while we were travelling abroad last year, I was most frequently asked if I was Australian, a New Zealander or even a Norwegian. Most were taken aback to find I am South African born and bred. My husband, on the other hand, was generally assumed to be an Afrikaner or even asked by some if he was a ‘Boer’, which we found amusing for here he would never be mistaken for anything other than an English-speaking South African 🙂
Don’t all South African speak English? It seemed that way when I visited. The rest of the world always assumes I am Nordic 🙂
We have eleven official languages in this country 🙂 🙂
Great post! Boston is 😂. But does anyone ever burst into one of the songs from the Sound of Music when you say “Austria” (I mean, the ones that aren’t too dumb to ask about Kangaroos) I fear that’s my reaction to Austrians – to sing them just a wee bit of “the hills are alive.”
No they don’t sing -yet and ‘The Sound of Music’ is sadly a Hollywood version of my country and doesn’t do it justice at all -rather the contrary. The movie was a flop in Europe and nobody knows it there, only the people in Salzburg cash in on it, because American tourists insist to see what the movies shows -even though the beautiful scene were Maria dances in the Alp was actually filmed in Germany.
Interesting. Stowe, Vermont – home of the Trapp Family Lodge – also cashes in on it.
In The Netherlands (or for me, I was born in Holland = just a part of the Netherlands) we all know about the sound of music…ok. Not the very young but the 50+…. yes they do….
“The Sound of Music” was popular in many countries, but never in the countries were it originated (Austria/Germany). I wonder why? 🙂
Oh! I know the feeling 😀. It’s not what I want but in any case I can’t hide either my accent nor my face. Also the same questions about family in India, if I am expert in Bollywood dances and yoga.
What??? You mean you are not an expert in Bollywood and yoga? How disappointing. 😀😀
Hahahahha
I get it. Something similar goes on in our Maritime provinces. They can tell a Mainlander a mile away and even though our sister has lived there for 45 years, she still gets the “Your’re from away” treatment” from some. We all just want to belong to the place we live and love. Happy Wednesday. Allan
It’s about privacy. I don’t want to share my life story with everybody who I just met and will forget.
As for belonging. Lately I feel I am on the wrong planet 🙂
Maybe answering. I am from here is the best answer for strangers. Make them wonder… As to your last comment, we are currently living in Crazyland. What ever happened to common sense on helping your fellow man?
Crazyland…yep that sounds about right.
My husband gets asked that all the time because of his English-accented French. I don’t however as most assume I’m Parisian because my accent is much less detectable.
I can hide my accent, especially when I am intoxicated (so I have been told) but I don’t see the sense in it.