Why We Should Be Grateful For The Negative

What? Be grateful for negative things? Seriously? What’s the point of this nonsense?

No, I’m serious.

Be grateful for negative things

Surely you read repeatedly that you should be grateful for what you have. I agree with that, with the restriction, you can still want more. What good is it to have everything if you are not happy? What is your life without joie de vivre -the enjoyment of life?

Be grateful for the beautiful and good things in life. That makes sense. Of course, I’m thankful for my husband, friends, and family, our home, our dogs, and so much more. I know what it means to love unconditionally.

I am grateful for freedom and peace in the country I live in. I know it’s a privilege. Since April 2022 I have watched from afar the war in Ukraine and for nine months the war in and the killing in Gaza. I appreciate what I have and I’m grateful.

But in this post, I would like to shed light on the other side. I want to look at things and situations that are negative at first glance, which normally all pull us down.

Life is made up of opposites

Light and shadow, wind and calm, joy and sadness, mountains and valleys, ups and downs, yin and yang.

I am firmly convinced that gratitude is a step towards joie de vivre. I am convinced because I have lived it. At our lowest, close to rock bottom, we managed to focus on everything we still had. Everybody who has followed me since a while and read my posts in “Losing it All” knows that. I believe the ability to still manage to find a silver lining kept me sane and centered back then. Digging yourself out of misery only works when you look up!

Since life consists not only of highs but also of lows, we should get into the habit of seeing the good in the negative experiences and being grateful. Look at nature, growth comes out of dirt!

The following list is not complete. How could it be? As diverse as we humans are, so different is our view of things. What I might consider bad luck, might be laughable for you. I think I am trying to encourage you to see the beautiful sides (and yes, to look for them). It’s all a question of perspective. They do exist, the two sides of the same coin.

I hope that one or the other point is a suggestion and inspiration at the same time. Here is an excerpt of my list of seemingly negative things for which I am grateful.

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I am grateful

When the alarm clock rings in the morning

Even if I would like to turn around again. I am grateful because I am healthy enough and can get up at any time I wish to do so. It might take a bit longer and there might be a bit of moaning and groaning sometimes, but in the end, I am up. “Look out life, here I come!”

When I look in the mirror in the morning

Have I added another wrinkle? I’m grateful for that, even if the beauty industry wants to tell me otherwise. These wrinkles tell of my life, of my life experience. I see laugh lines, but also other lines that indicate there were frowning and worries.

For those days when not everything shimmers and shines

They show me that our world is made up of opposites.

For all ages

I look back and am amazed at what I have already experienced. Beautiful and painful, sad and funny. Situations where I thought I wouldn’t be able to make it and yet I managed. Where I come from we part life in chapters by years. From 1-21, from 22 to 43, from 44 to 65, from 65 to departure. I am close to my last chapter but not there yet. Turns out every chapter gives us so many wonderful experiences. The Book of Life is full of experiences, and the empty pages will be filled soon.

For the critics and envious

They show me that I am authentic. I don’t bend and I’m not “everybody’s darling” -and that’s a good thing.

For the delay and traffic

This reminds me to build in a buffer. It reminds me that not everything in life can be planned. Not even with the greatest discipline and ambition.

For the differences of opinion

It shows me that we are talking to each other -at least some of us. That we deal with each other. That we are not indifferent to each other. Every day we work on ourselves to live in peaceful co-existence. Peace is hard work and commitment.

For critics and blasphemers

They show me that I am noticed. That I don’t swim in the mainstream.

For my fear(s)

It shows me where I have “areas for development”. It shows me where the limit of my comfort zone is. It challenges me to dare more. She also shows me my wishes, dreams, and goals.

For my doubts

They make me pause and force me to listen to myself. “Am I still on the right track?”

For days of uncertainty

They help me to sort myself out again. They help me to focus on the things that are important to me.

For setbacks

They ground me. They show me the way. Do I really want that? Then I try another way. Or had I taken a wrong turn?

When I embarrass myself

I can laugh at myself, and I can laugh hard. I don’t take myself too seriously, even if I embarrass myself, it’s not life-threatening. Embarrassing, perhaps, but not life-threatening.

For The potholes in the road

He reminds me that I’m not in a hurry. I can drive to my appointment calmly and relaxed. We have streets, I have a car. I don’t like the potholes but I am still safe.

That I am not an expert everywhere

I don’t have to be able to do everything. I allow myself to get support when I can’t get anywhere myself.

Mistakes and weaknesses

Nobody’s perfect. They remind me of what I’m really good at, and what my strengths and talents are. For everything else, I get help.

For my competitors

They remind me that there is enough for everyone. That I don’t need to compare myself and have nothing to prove. (.. and that was a piece of work for me…)

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I’m grateful that I can see the positive, even in seemingly negative situations

When we are in the middle of the drama, we often have tunnel vision. We see no way out, only darkness but it is precisely in these situations where the biggest gold nuggets are often hidden.

Looking back, the worst events have often developed into something wonderful for me, or to put it another way, I had to go through the pain to heal and find the good.

Do you know what’s going to happen?

The more grateful you are, the more balanced you will become. You become more relaxed and happier because you shift your focus to the positive. What you focus on amplifies, energy flows where attention goes. Think about it!

This is not the call to walk through the world in the future with a borderline stupid smile and rose-colored glasses. It doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be happy when you notice that something is wrong.

Quite the opposite:

• It is the call to reflect.
• It is the call to stop the eternal nagging.

• It is a call to simply overlook some things.
• It is the call to look closely.
• It is the call not to take oneself and life so seriously.
• It is the call for more joie de vivre/enjoyment of life.

It is the call to live.

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