Last updated on May 21, 2025
Perhaps I shouldn’t be the one posting this since I am not a mother, but then on the other hand maybe that’s precisely the reason why I should post it because I watched all my friends go through all the different stages. I am a witness, this all is true!
The Evolution of Mom
Parenthood changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differ from having your first:
Your Clothes
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
The Baby’s Name
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.
The Layette
1st baby: You prewash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?
Worries
1st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
A good friend of mine has three children, I happen to be the godmother. I remember the time when they were little. I wanted to babysit, and my friend was so nervous at first. Later, when there were two, she let me babysit all the time. After baby number three she told me to keep them. 🙂
Humorous, including your closing sentence. 😄 I was one and done. I wanted more children, but life had other plans.
“One and done.” Too funny 🙂
Made me laugh, too. Thank you. 😊
Funny! Stopped at one, but enjoyed reading about all three 🤣🤣
Thank you, Jaya. I am glad you enjoyed it.
I have three children and you nailed this. When my third born would cry in her crib, my middle child, who wasn’t yet two, would run to her aid. He would climb up on the crib and wind his baby sister’s musical mobile that rotated toys above her head. 🙂
Thank you for sharing, it made me laugh out loud. I could see your middle child climbing on the crib and you standing there in the background…thumbs up 🙂
Laughing…..
Good. We need laughter.
Funny but true from what I have seen too. I only have one so I just had the porcelain doll technique down.
“The porcelain doll technique,” what a great way to describe the admiration of child #1 (and only).
Great post! I love your observations 😉
It wrote itself. It was comical too watch.
Thanks a lot for your kind reply!
In my 70s, I reflect on the lives that have intersected with mine. I never wanted children, but have come to appreciate my own mother and father, and the roles they played in my early years. They lived lives individual and distinct but were compatible in that they stayed together. My mother was ambitious for her children, but I disappointed her by going my own way. My father taught me a lot, including what not to do. Together they made me who I am.
All the people in our past ‘make us’ somehow. Teachers, parents, grandparents. In the end, most of turn out to be decent human beings. 🙂
Many decent human beings and role models in this world.
Ha ha ha keep them. 😂
This was funny and very accurate 👍😉
I had three children and you captured so much in this post! Humor (pathos) and angst. . . Thanks for the chuckles! ~ Robin
You’re welcome
Hahahahahha I am still laughing….This is so flipping true it is scary 🙂
I am afraid to ask what happens after child no. 4 and 5….
Just shared this a number of times… gonna do it again!! you are great.
Wow. This is sooo funny. But true as well. I love your writing style. It’s really cool.
So glad i followed you from http://storiform.com.
Thank you Jainey! I appreciate it. Nice to meet you.
The pleasure is all mine.
Really loved this. Showed it to my mum. She laughed – saying you’ve described it perfectly.
We are five kids.
Oh dear, I wonder what happens after child #3 🙂
Oh i know. at #4, you package them all to grandma’s and celebrate your freedom with a party for yourself.
LOL
At #5, that’s moi, it gets easier. The #1 & #2 are wise enough to help you out so you can focus on the younger ones.
That’s just a thought.
In reality, it can be a way different story. 😀
Haha! So much truth. For other people. Not me. I’ve never done any of this. Ever. 😉
Of course not 🙂
What a perfect way to start the day!
Thank you!
Hilarious. With my second child, I had to put away the wind-up baby swing because my older one wanted to have his turn and was too heavy for it. This was great. 😀 — Suzanne
Thank you, Suzanne.
Fabulous! 🙂
Hysterical and true 🙂
Terrific and oh so true… 🙂
This is so funny because it is so completely true. The bit about hiding from the kids is hysterical. I only have two boys but my nieces and nephews are frequent visitors so I do know about that feeling.
I am glad you liked it.
Guilty of so much of this.
ROFL!!! Priceless…and true! 😉👍
Thank you for admitting it 🙂
Brilliant, funny, and painfully accurate.
Thank you 🙂
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I am a Mom of two boys (both grown and on their own now) and I have to say for not being a Mom yourself you have hit the nail squarely on the head when it comes to the evolution of Mom. I can only relate to Baby 1 – Baby 2 changes but man, that brought back some memories. Thanks 🙂
Funny and so true! 🙂
good one Bridget!!!
I just choked on my breakfast. I shouldn’t have been eating while reading this post. Especially at the part about “You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children”. That was me even with the first one. I confess that small children terrify me … even when they were my own 😉
No eating in front of the computer (yeah right). I can almost see you hiding from the children. Too funny.
Eating in front of the computer is one of the worst habits … and I have no intention of quitting 😉
It’s 12:24 pm, I am in my workroom on my desk. Take a wild guess what I am doing?
The same thing I am 😉
It is 12:24 pm. I am in my workroom, sitting on my desk. Take a wild guess what I am doing.
This really made me chuckle. I must be weird though, 1st born boy was dressed in pink from time to time. Interesting how gender fixed our perceptions are, taught me lots.
Oh my! This is genius. So hysterical. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
You’re very welcome
Are you really, really sure you don’t have children? You hit the mark and had me cracking up. I have 3 boys, well now they’re grown men but with the exception of them wearing pink I think this is extremely accurate.
What…no pink 🙂
😢Sadly no.