Finding The Goodness and Eleven Seniors

A little clip, just made for me, so I knew where to find the thank-you cards the seniors had crafted for us.

Logan’s cheerfulness is contagious. It made me smile but I also remembered how it all started and I felt ashamed. I know better now and I hope in the future I will act wiser, but let me tell you the story of Eleven Happy Seniors from the start.

Before Christmas, I was able to surprise five seniors with gift bags at a nearby nursing home. Nothing spectacular, just little things they had wished for. It added up quickly and it was way over my little charity budget, so I asked for donations of socks or gloves on our neighbor board. One lady stopped by and surprised me with a cash donation and with her help it all came together.

Before Easter, I asked the nursing home again if the seniors might need anything and the reply came quickly. The number of seniors in need had gone up from five to eleven.

I reacted the same way many of us react these days. Always expecting the worst in human beings, hastily judging within a few seconds. “You give one the little finger and they take the whole hand,” I mumbled when I read the email. Did they think I was rich? Did they try to take advantage of me? “They think I am an idiot,” I added in my thoughts. My first reaction was all but nice.

Nevertheless, I asked about the names and gender of the seniors, still trying to digest the fact that the number had more than doubled. This was not just over my budget again but completely out of reach, and when I saw the list of items the seniors wished for, I knew there was no way I could make it happen.

Six men and five women with a lengthy list of little things they desired. Socks, hand towels, sanitizers, toilet paper, and water. Nail polish, creams and snacks, wipes, and tissues. The men needed shaving cream and razors. Toothbrushes and toothpaste for all. Snacks and sodas, normal things we all love to have…but x 11? Sunglasses were listed too, because they like to spend time in the little atrium. The toilet paper puzzled me. When I asked they told me that the seniors simply don’t like the cheap brand the nursing home provides, and it makes sense. I think we all agree that thin toilet paper should be forbidden by law. They don’t like the tap water either, and I understood. I don’t like the faucet water in our area and have a filter attached.

Since last year I have belonged to the MAW group. MAW stands for Middle-Aged Women (starting at age 55 and up). The group was started by a nice neighbor lady who wished for a new friend close to her own age. Many older females felt the same way and quickly a group was founded. We have now over 90 members so I asked for help with the donations.

I also wondered if Dawn, a blogging friend of mine, would be willing to paint Easter cards for the seniors and she did not hesitate. The cards she sent me were so beautiful. They were cherished not just by us when we wrote them, but also by the seniors. And they arrived even though I made a typo in our address (don’t you love aging?)

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For weeks ladies stopped by at my workroom with Things they had bought. Each one of them had shopped for eleven seniors and I have no idea how I ever repay them for their kindness and their generosity. It seems one of the purposes I have in life is to bring people together, often out of my own despair, when I am (again) in over my head.

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As so often, it took a village, or a bunch of older ladies to make dreams come true. Also, I finally called the nursing home and asked a few questions. I stopped mumbling in my head and articulated inquiries. Come to find out some of the seniors are there temporarily. Mark, the older gentleman I had the pleasure of meeting, is recovering after an accident he had last year. He owned a car repair shop and had a bad fall. He needed multiple surgeries on his head, (skull fracture) and on his leg (open fracture). His family lives far away and they are not close. He went from being a healthy senior and wealthy to the point where medical bills took most of his savings and his home. He is relearning to walk and talk, and he hopes to be able to live on his own again. I hope his dreams and wishes will come true, but I fear he might have to stay in the senior facility.

The week before Easter my new friends came by and helped me pack. My new donkey-laugh friend Karen (we both laugh like donkeys and tease each other) another Karen, Lisa, and petite soft-spoken Angie, who makes me feel like an Amazon when she stands beside me, something we both take with great humor. She is as small, as I am tall, and by physics I am forced to look down at her, while in fact, I look up at her. We like and respect each other -all of us. Ivonne came by and brought 2 cases with 40 bottles of water. “That’s all I can do for now,” she said and we laughed. “Are you kidding…we all forgot about the water.” It was true. On our hunt to find cheap nail polish and nail polish remover, chasing sales for socks and sunglasses, we had forgotten about the toilet paper and the water.

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My cutting table was full of things and we packed for a few hours. This time I sat back and let them drive it all to the nursing home first and so they left. Three cars loaded with goodies for Easter.

We didn’t just leave the items at the nursing station. We brought the bags to the room and met some of the seniors which meant a lot to the ladies, and to me as well. That’s when it got real. Seeing their faces light up was more than just a thank you. It was the new fuel that will keep us going.

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One of my customers owns a nail salon. When he came by to drop off some stool seats, he noticed the five nail polishes I had ordered. They were on my desk and he assumed they were mine. “No, they are for older ladies at a nursing home,” I explained and he asked more questions.

“I bring you a couple I don’t need anymore,” he said and two hours later he stopped by again. I had to laugh.

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That should last a while. Actually, the nail polish was a big hit. The seniors had a ‘spa night’ and each lady could pick a couple of colors they liked. It made me smile.

So many people had been involved in this donation, and when Easter passed I found myself wondering if all the seniors had liked their ‘gifts.’ “Dangit, it would be so much easier if we would know what they liked.” My inner mumbling started again. I can’t help it.

The MAW ladies had mentioned holding a Pizza night at the nursing home in the future, which I thought sounded like a good idea. But would the seniors like it? Some of them had been in their rooms when we delivered the bags not knowingly during their dinner time. Some don’t leave their room much, while other seniors like to mingle in public places and the dining hall. They have different health conditions. I learned they have a small Memory Unit as well.

“The seniors are making cards for you.” The activity director texted me and when I called her back I learned a bit more about their activity program. They offer a lot and as we now know, they don’t hide anything. We had unannounced open access to all the rooms. Of course, a nurse was with us, but she left us alone with the seniors when they invited us into their rooms.

It was a very humble experience. That’s one of the reasons why I decided to post it on my blog. It’s not about giving and feeling good about myself, it’s about doing SOMETHING – ANYTHING, at a time when so many of us are worried.

“Somehow we seem to find each other now.” A statement made quietly made by Angie had us all nodding. We are like-minded. I assume that’s the reason we all get along.

We can’t change the world, but we can make very small changes for maybe just one person.

“There is not much I can do,” is often the excuse I hear from people who decide to do nothing. I understand where they are coming from. It all is overwhelming. There is so much need…everywhere and it will get worse.

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The seniors made cards for each one of us, and Logan made the little clip for me when she learned that I could only swing by on Saturday or Sunday. The card for The Giving Girls touched my heart and my soul.

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I am not so sure if we are “Giving Girls” or just very frustrated older ladies who pretty much had it with this world and all the nonsense that is going on.

Maybe now is the perfect time to give a bit more, even if it’s ‘only’ a case of water. Mark dictated a card for me because he can’t write well anymore, and it’s not important what it said. That’s between me and Mark but it meant the world to me.

It doesn’t matter if we hand out a cold bottle of water to a homeless person in the summertime, or if we volunteer to go for a walk with a dog in a shelter. What matters is that we get involved. Somehow! Somewhere!

We all have different gifts and different ways of giving. My talent seems to be to find people to help me. (I hope it’s a talent.)

I love that I can step back a bit. Now more ladies actively participate and the Pizza night will be organized by donkey-laugh Karen. However, I will donate a gluten-free, dairy-free vegan pizza, because I bet there is a senior in the home who avoids gluten and dairy as well.