The untold story!

Last updated on November 23, 2014

Please, don’t take me (too) serious…or wait, maybe you should!

Timetable of physiological changes when you quit smoking
— The Untold Story —

(What the quit smoking literature doesn’t tell you.)

20 minutes after quitting

You begin looking for loopholes in your quit commitment, thinking about postponing the whole arrangement until after the next millennium begins.

After 8 hours

You have already contemplated at least three murders and several other brutal acts of violence.

After 24 Hours

Your city or town declares a mysterious and unforeseen water shortage, while municipal sewers are suddenly overwhelmed.

After one week

You have consumed enough calories to sustain a Bengali village of 2000 for four years. Food shortages become critical within your region; pets and local wild animals become nervous.

After two weeks

Risk of Browser’s Butt Syndrome (BBS) rises to equal that for 13-year-old boys with new computers and internet access. Smileys appear in your writing and begin to replicate

Within one month

You have already begun to pester smokers and complain about the smell of their obnoxious cigarettes; IQ returns to low double-digits; Quitters begin to function autonomously. Exclamation point shortages prevail across the land.

After six weeks

You may have experienced your first bowel movement since your quit began; if not, be patient, it will happen within a few more weeks.

After two months

You begin to forget the pain and misery of the first week without cigarettes, and are wondering if you could, perhaps, remind yourself of what you’ve been missing; Quitters establish territorial treaties with each other.

After five months.

Intelligence returns to at least 60% of its pre-quit level; concentration remains a problem, at only 50%; carpal tunnel syndrome incidence exceeds all known levels for any keyboard-intensive occupation; you have typed more words than are contained within all the works of William Shakespeare, but with more flair and “sparkle”.

After six months.

You wonder why you ever waited this long to quit. It’s way, way, worth it.

This has been around since a very long time, I believe every “Quitter” will read it sooner or later, it is on every online support webpage and it should be. Even though I have read it numerous times, I still can’t help but smiling, oh there is so much truth to it, it’s almost scary!

I remember when I just quit smoking and I was wondering why I couldn’t concentrate anymore and how almost everything could annoy me.

But…according to this there is hope. Sooner or later I will be able to concentrate again. Wait…what was this post about? Oh, OK I have to wait another month!