Last updated on January 30, 2016
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken … and the road.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: The chicken crossed that road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: Why did the chicken cross the road? To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
DONALD TRUMP: We should build a wall so the chicken can’t cross the road.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
[…] Source: Why did the Chicken cross the road? […]
Reblogged this on Life, living, work and play and commented:
So funny – just HAD to reblog this 😂
I like it!
Oh thank you so much for stopping by. I just admired your blue orchid on your window seal and bookmarked your blog, so I can snoop around later.
I am Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road to friends.
System of a down: BECAUSE HE WANTED TO.
BTW this was a reference to their song, Chop Suey.
Hahahaha! This is hilarious. Colonel Sanders is the only honest one. 😀
I am glad you liked it 🙂
There are a bunch of true ones in here, And some that I think I am too young to understand. Though the funniest political one was the “I did not cross the road with that chicken”
That was one of my favorites too! Hahahahahaha!
Yep. I love jokes about him but I cannot ever remember his name.
Bill Clinton (Hilary Clinton’s husband)
Ah. Thank you. It seems that past president’s families are keeping into politics.
Oh my. This is SSSSOOOOO funny! I usually avoid the political, but there’s something here for everyone. Hilarious.
Glad you liked it. 🙂
WE SHALL BUILD A WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RACISM SHALL RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!KLFDHPRWJ43JGTOR,G+FDSGGMMGKREMGPMWRKL;GMRE;LG;SFDMK;LFDNGIBV;LCBMGLK;HREOPGOPKG[OREK[PGKRE[P’RGKFDSK;LNGKISDNFPIEJG;OAKG’REKG;LFDMGSPOGFSD;;HNFDKL;B FDSKJLGREKG3KJNTJRGMRGJKRNJFDJVPCZXOB[YO43-TP4\T[43GREG+RE
Reblogged this on lucas897 and commented:
Shoutout to TheHappyQuiter
This brought me lots of smiles..:-) cluck cluck!! 🙂
Came here via Joanna’s blog. This is wonderful. Very clever! Love the Hemingway and Grandpa one. And Trump’s. Hehe.
Thank you for stopping by my blog. I am glad you enjoyed the post. Have a great Sunday~!
this is very clever. Thanks for a good belly laugh.
I like Belly Laughs 🙂
I had a good laugh reading this one, but especially Colonel Sanders at the end. What a great way to tie it up 🙂
I literally have tears running down my face. Hilarious 😂😂
I am glad you liked it. 🙂
LMBO! But you forgot one about a brown chicken that was being chased by two wolves who had badges.
Gosh-darn…yes I did. I only built the wall 🙂
Reblogged this on Joanna Aislinn's Blog–Love, Life Lessons and Then Some and commented:
Some posts just beg to be reblogged–enjoy! (Read it twice. It gets funnier. Thanks, Ladybug 🙂
Thank you for the re-blog
Where do you come up with this stuff, lol? Love it!
This begged a re-blog, so I did. 🙂 Thanks so much for putting it out there. Got my Sunday off to a fun start!
You’re welcome. I am glad you liked it.
That’s actually an old one, but with new lines 🙂
hysterical!
This joke gets funnier every time they add to it… but the colonel sanders line always gets me in the end. ^_^
“Did I miss one,” kills me too.
This is hilarious, and accurate.
“The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!”
We can always trust Palin to misunderstand everything, like that fact that a chicken who is in fact a “he” would be a rooster.
You’re right, Cindy! Thanks for pointing that out–I’d have missed it otherwise. Too busy trying to remember what a maverick is, lol.
I always wonder if she wants to make us laugh or if she really just doesn’t know it any better.
😂😂😂😂 brilliant! Colonel Sanders “did I miss one” ha!
🙂