Last updated on February 10, 2017
Today I decided I will switch careers and become a chief surgeon.
I will have to add some alternative facts and made up pieces of information to my resume, but after that, I should be good to go. I have talent, I can cut a piece of fabric into any shape known to man. How much more difficult can it be to cut into a human being?
And sewing, I mean don’t get me started. I can sew a zipper in anything; I am a master of my craft. It can’t be that much more complicated in an operating room, though I might have to let go of the zippers.
My future looks bright. Bye-bye furniture, bye-bye little workroom; I am ready to make some big bucks. I will get a nice white coat and a fine office, perhaps even a secretary or two.
Once hired, I should be safe. I won’t be alone during surgeries and my colleagues and the nurses will be there to step in and cover for me anytime. Afterward, I will deny everything and nobody will ever know that I don’t have a clue.
As for the patients, they won’t notice a thing -they don’t have a say in it. They will be deep asleep, and most of them can’t afford to pay the hospital bill anyway. What do they have to lose? What do I care?
Don’t blame me, I just go with the flow. People without any knowledge, experience or qualification are being voted into the highest positions. I am just following the trend; I want to be one of them.
This is my satirical take on the confirmation of Betsy DeVos. If a Billionaire, who has never set foot in a public school can be our education secretary, then I should be okay as a chief surgeon. At least I have been in a hospital once or twice. What do you think?
My sincere apologies to all the Chief surgeons and surgeons out there. You do a terrific job!
*his skull
Now its like the Don uses his leg to think and his skulk to walk.
I can lend you, nay, give you, a couple of quid to help your campaign. Hell, we don’t need a campaign, let’s just declare you Queen of America and then you can have fun with lots of “Off with his/her head.”
Straight to head surgery 🙂
You have the style just right! If you want to read a wonderfully profane version of what you feel go to https://infinitefreetime.com/2017/02/07/betsy-devos-is-a-fucking-worthless-hack-and-so-is-her-scumbag-boss/ The guy who wrote was for many years an excellent teacher (see his book Searching for Malumba).
Thank you so much for the link. I laughed hard and I needed it. 🙂
LOL. I love this.
I had a ball writing it.
I got a bizarre image of a zipped belly while reading that…. and swiftly moving on. I’m a teacher (was), so I guess I could apply for the job of billionaire, given we’re paid so much! Thanks for the chuckle!
You being Chief Surgeon actually makes more sense … at least you have some experience with putting things back together so that they actually work afterwards :/
This is a horrible nightmare. The damage she is going to do to the school system may just be irreparable. “For Profit” schooling? … we know what the outcome of that will be.
Unbelievable. Great post, Bridget, but it makes me depressed. I’m going to become Donald Trump. After all, I spend lots of time in my fantasy world messing up things for my characters. I kill off a lot of them too. They live in primitive conditions and have very little say in their futures. Oh, but the best part, is that I no longer have to pay any taxes. I can lie as much as I want in order to get my way and if things go wrong, I can just blame Obama!!! This sounds great.
Well hon, you will have my vote 🙂
It’s all such bullshit. And obvious. I think I’ll become an astronaut. I’ve looked at the stars before. I should be good to go, right? 😃
You have seen the stars, you are ready to go.
Perfect! Did you watch any of her vetting process? She’s unbelievably unqualified for this position. It’s such a joke.
I watched part of it and then I had to turn it off. It makes my blood boil.
We here in the U.S. are so far behind other school systems it’s not even funny and what do we do? We put someone in charge who will make it worse.
It really is ridiculous. We have a special needs child, and her answers, or lack thereof, speak volumes about her level of knowledge, and lack any shred of compassion, about those unique educational needs is what concerns me the most. I am currently torn between wanting to stay informed and not being able to stomach the news. 😠
Me too. Every day I watch the news and then I have to turn it off. It rattles my inner balance.
Gonna be a long 4 years. I hope we all decide to deal this administration a blow in the mid-term elections.
I wouldn’t count on it. People have the tendency to forget and they just continue to vote the same way they always did.
I’ll be doing my part to get these nimrods outta office. But, frankly, and I’m a registered Democrat, the Dem’s need to go too. It’s high time for a house cleaning, top to bottom.
See, that’s why I am an independent voter. I do agree, many have to go on both sides.
I don’t think there’s any question they need to go. All of them. Term limits for the House is the key, but it’ll never happen. None of these so-called public servants are gonna cut off the gravy train. It’s all such a mess.
and the world just keeps spinning out of control……
yep
Wow.. this is amazing
But are you a Billionaire?
You had to bring it up didn’t you? Sigh, you just burst my bubble
🙂