…
The universe in its infinite wisdom has decided that I will be cheated out of LIFE by 15 years?
Why me? When I asked my doctor, she didn’t have an answer, other than, “We really don’t know.” Fact is, I have a disease, an autoimmune disorder, that might take fifteen years of my life expectancy, or maybe only ten, and when I heard that for the first time, I gasped. It made me angry, and I felt helpless.
What is my life expectancy anyway? The human goal is to be as old as possible before we “Hand over the Spoon.” That’s an Austrian saying, meaning kicking the bucket. In the Alpine regions, where I come from, in the 19th century, poorer people primarily ate porridge, and forks and knives were hardly ever used. It was common for each peasant to display their own spoon decoratively on the wall. It was taken down for meals and hung back up afterward. “Handing over the Spoon” means dying in the German/Austrian language. I use this phrase in my head when I think about my demise.
Fifteen Years less! Yes, it bothered me because I can picture myself as a much older woman, still walking and hiking with purple strands in my hair. All wrinkly with hanging breasts, being the same goofy smartass that I am since birth, or maybe since I started talking.
What is my life expectancy anyway, and is it the same as my expectations?
My grandma was 81 when she passed away, so this might be a good number to start with. Minus 15 years! Holly Sugarcookie, that means I might walk (fly/ be beamed off) this beautiful, complicated planet with 70 already. That’s unacceptable.
Maybe I can start counting backward at 99; that sounds like a reasonable goal. We people from the Alps are healthy individuals, of course, minus the diseases we get and the illnesses we have to battle. Ok, maybe we look healthier than we are. We are tall and robust, so they say, because that’s fair to make us all sound the same, right?
15 Years taken from my life? When I look around this world lately, it sounds almost like an offering. This world has gone mad, and I am stuck in this frenzy. But the world always seemed mad, Grandma thought the same, and I assume so did all the generations before.
To answer today’s question. My concept of living a very long life is very simple:
Live it and live it to the fullest!
To be honest, it doesn’t matter when I will give up the spoon. May it be tomorrow or in thirty years. I had a fulfilled life. I have experienced so much more than others, and I am aware of it.
What is the definition of a very long life anyway? For some, sixty is very old, for many, ninety is still too young.
The number on paper and the number in my head never matched. When I was young, I seemed older. When I got older, I appeared younger.
I have a great life, even with some aches and pain, even in the midst of all the madness. I am a happy bugger.
If it’s tomorrow or in thirty years. I will find out!
Come to think of it, I can’t go tomorrow. I still have a book to sell. 🙂
I would take that 15 years less with a grain of salt. My former brother-in-law was looking at a 4 to 6 month prognosis with stage 4 cancer in May or ’24. He is still living at home and only needs help with a few things his daughter stops in for. Doctors are not always right. Live healthy and HAPPY and that makes any number of years worthwhile. You have a good grip on that spoon! 🥄
I’m so sorry about the news the doctor has given you. However, reading these posts and your responses has left me feeling like you will prove that doctor wrong!
Well from 90 last birthday and still university studying and teaching in spite of inoperable cancer, heart and brain aneurysms, kidney and liver problems and inoperable rotor cuff in both arms et al, I am afraid I simply ‘don’t think about age’! Work and learn the way I can at the rate I can and hope to be satisfied with the day each evening! Truly! Don’t want the boatman coming to get me and simply refuse to look that way! My MIL managed 99 with glee and a number of very active lovers till the mid-90s 🙂 ! Methinks you are doing very well tho’ personally would research the ‘chemo’ (I would not personally!). There are dozens of natural things one can do day by day to lower the very damaging inflammation which most of us do not realize all of us do have . . . am certain you have and do read the latest . . . bestest . . .
Eha, I have RA (Rheumatoid Arthritis) which is a crippling disease just like MS. I don’t eat dairy, I don’t eat gluten, I do everything in my power to keep the inflammation down, yet my RA markers were still almost 20. I got diagnosed in 2014, right after I quit smoking, which I think wasn’t a coincidence.
The low dose chemo drug is a gift from the universe, because without it, life is much harder and much, much more painful. But it’s not so much about the pain anyway, it’s about stopping the damage to the joints (fingers, hands, feet, neck) and to all the ‘inside stuff’ this disease attacks as well. Heart, Eyes, Spine, Nervous System. I have the choice between Methotrexate, low dose chemo pills once a week, or biologic medication and a TNF blocker like Enbrel, which I will not even consider, because the list of side effect names death and cancer, as well as stroke and heart attack as possible. the chemo drug does wonders for me. I am a bit on the loopy side for 1 day, but fully functioning for the rest of the week. RA is a disease were many can’t walk anymore, or can’t even open a water bottle. I live 50 lbs with ease and walk daily.
Age is a number and I don’t worry about it too much either. It’s actually a privilege denied to many, that’s the way I look at it.
As far as age goes > one simply has to be logical > accept and poke a tongue at it > and, totally without thinking and ‘planning’ I have somehow ‘managed’ to get to one where people look at me or listen to me on the phone and then say ‘but . . . you can’t be 🙂 ?’. It’s getting to be fun especially with as many problems I cannot afford to do anything about as I have!!! The ‘Yes, I managed, see >>>’ is becoming ‘humorous’ in a way! I live in a serviced studio at the moment because housework is kinda difficult with broken arms, and the Office , when asked where X, Y, or Z are > ‘Try Eha’s place . . . I bet they are yakking away AGAIN . . . ‘ And yes, I know you have RA . . . actually have just talked to Mr Google about that a bit . . . you have had the experience and the trials as to what work . . . gluten oft is not a culprit . . . drug-wise you are probably doing the best possible . . . I just hate to see good bugs killed alongside bad ones in the gut . . .
My gut hears you loud an clear. It’s full of kimchi and kraut 🙂 I always flinch when I read about your rotary cuff. My husband, who is a tough man and can take a lot, fell at work in 2018, and because it was a work injury, the insurance took his time and it took one year, before he allowed the much needed shoulder surgery to happen. Seeing him in so much pain, was painful too watch. He often had tears in his eyes, which normally only happens when I make him watch animal movies and they end bad.
You are a tough cookie (which is a very high compliment in case you don’t know the saying).
I try to get as much kimchi and kraut into me as well! Got myself a small and nifty fridge which I fill with online food shopping – don’t think the crowd which hands lunch and dinner across the door quite appreciates ‘why are you eating such rubbish – our food is so nice (!)’. I make my own morning sandwiches and wraps with herring and anchovies and decent cheeses 🙂 ! Yep, as far as the rotor cuff is concerned, you would understand . . . I have no pain in the shoulders but both arms right down to the wrist are blue murder 24/24 and the mobility is almost non-existent except downwards – that is how i can type !!! The ops take quite some time and I am ‘too aged’ for them to try . . . very few people realize how bad it is . . . ‘take a Panadol, dear’ . . . ! Normally here it is regarded as a football injury which takes the player out for a year. During a hospital stay I must have pushed myself up in the bed and that was it. Grrr!!! End of complaining -but better you know !
When I was a kid I wanted to live to be 100. Which seemed reasonable since my grandmother (mom’s mom) seemed REALLY old to me. And in fact she lived well into her 90s. The last time I saw her, having driving down from the UP to Ann Arbor to visit her, she was in her walker, walking me to the door when she told me not to get that old, that it “was no fun.” Seeing her like that I started thinking about revising my goal. Now, some 40 years later I’ve seen plenty of people approach old age. Some were happy till the end, many were not. I’ll be 70 in April. My new goal is to live until 88, one year longer than my favorite aunt. Both my parents died at 75. I guess another goal would to just make it past that…but that seems too near for me.
I’m sorry about your autoimmune disease. That really is not fair at all. I hope there are things you can do to offset the reduction in life span predicdtion. Sort of to balance it out on the positive side and gain you some years.
It sounds like you have your autoimmune disease mostly under control, you eat a diet beneficial to your body, and you exercise regularly. Another plus is your positive attitude. All these pluses add to your life expectancy. 🙂
Yes, it seems like it and I am working hard on keeping it that way. I am also taking medication, one of which is a weekly low-dose chemo drug, which is used to bring the inflammation down. So, a healthy lifestyle is needed to make up for the harm these meds can cause.
Understandable.
77 and counting, although I really don’t bother to count. If I wake up alive, that’s the start of a good day. If I wake up dead, I’ll have to figure out what to do!!!!!!!!! I am content and have far exceeded the age I thought I’d expire.
I just turned 65 last month and hope for ten more years but that is up to God.
Oh, John – life can be made so exciting – DO aim a wee bit higher > I am ‘going for’ another 10 also, but I turned 90 last June. Still studying at three schools and teaching at one . . . and working fulltime earning a bit of money doing surveys . . .
Wow, you are amazing! God bless you and thanks for your suggestion!
John – I am very definitely NOT amazing in any way! But I love this crazy life there is to live and just try to do the best I can think of which I can manage – if one door closes, if you keep your cool and a rest and then see what else you can manage and enjoy . . .
I am with John. 🙂