Last updated on June 23, 2015

This is the toughest daily prompt ever. The easy thing would be not to answer it. Leave it alone, don’t even think about it. Yes, that sounds good. But I never chicken out, got raised to held my head up high and bite the bullet.

There is one very specific person, who I wish would read my blog. He doesn’t. He reads bits and pieces that I print out. We discuss different posts and comments, but I know for a fact, that he doesn’t read my blog. NEVER!

So this is for my husband, the man I love since forever…so it seems.

To  my dear husband:

I know why you don’t read my blog, especially the posts of the first 12 months and part of me can understand why. Maybe I would do just the same, if it would be the other way around.

I know what you are feeling. We fell head over heels in love and did everything together ever since. “Partners in crime” so to speak. We were young and both smoked when we met, never questioned our habit at all. We moved out of our first apartment and almost fainted when we saw the original wall color, hidden behind the pictures we took down. We decided to smoke outside in our own home and that’s what we did, from that moment on. Winter or summer, we took our smoke breaks together. “Lets smoke a cigarette” was our favorite saying and we took our break together. The yard was our spot in the summer time and we cuddled up in the garage in the wintertime, when it was freezing and snowing. We were not just husband and wife, partners and lovers, we were smoking buddies as well. 

There was a time, when money was tight and we looked for spare change all over the house. In pockets and purses, in drawers and cars. Often we came up with only enough money for one pack and we shared. Who ever separated the pack, always left one more for the other one. 

You looked at me funny, last year in February, when I announced that I had given up smoking. I remember, I was standing in the kitchen in my pj’s and I drew a big 2 on our chalkboard. “Smoke free for 2 days yeahhhh!” You were proud of me, you supported me as always, but I knew what you were thinking…what everybody was thinking. Nobody around me thought I would succeed and how could they? I never talked about my quit plans, because I didn’t have any. It came out of the blue for both of us. Chances for success were slim.

Somehow I made it, I stayed smoke free for the first days. Days became weeks, weeks months. Things changed and I saw it in your eyes, you didn’t like the change. You had lost your smoking buddy and you missed me, when you walked outside alone .

I was a pain wasn’t I? I talked about quitting all the time, some of it made you laugh, some must have driven you mad. In just a few weeks, I went from being a happy smoker to a happy quitter and boy, was I talking about it. I wanted you to quit as well and I told you so. We do everything together, why not quit together? 

We still do everything together…I just don’t smoke. I missed our special break times as well and now I often follow you, when you go outside. Funny how some things work. Watching you smoke was first tempting, then it bothered me…now it has no meaning at all. I am glad it is no longer an issue.

I wish you would quit as well, but I shouldn’t have tried to “make you quit”. It doesn’t work like that. One day you might quit smoking as well, but it will be at your therms. Whatever way you will choose, it will be your way. 

Funny, how we talk about my blog and how you participate in this part of my life…without actually reading it. 

So, I hope one day, when you will be ready to quit smoking, you will sit down and read -like so many others- the “smoking part” of my blog, that will show you how I quit and what I learned. 

Until then I will continue to print special posts for you 🙂

Singular Sensation

If you could have a guarantee that one, specific person was reading your blog, who would you want that person to be? Why? What do you want to say to them?