It was like looking in the mirror…

Last updated on November 23, 2014

First of all “Thank you” for all the nice Birthday wishes. My blogging friend M-R has a birthday calender for her blogging friends…what a sweet idea! It was so nice to see so many people stopping by and leaving “Happy Birthday Comments” it made me smile and I apologize for not answering sooner.

One of my best friends came to visit us for the weekend, we haven’t seen each other for quiet some time, so it was a big Hello. Her first statement was “we will celebrate the whole weekend” and she meant it :-). Every female will understand and will know what I mean when I say: “Lots of laughter, lots of talking, lots of shopping…good food and good wine, we had a really good time”. This was my first Birthday as an adult being a non-smoker…isn’t that pitiful? Although, and that hit me later, my friend has never seen me without a cigarette in my hand or a pack close by…ever.

We did a lot of things together when we lived in the same state and we always had fun, but regardless what we did, it was always interrupted by my need to smoke. It really didn’t matter what we did, I always excused myself and left her sitting there alone in restaurants or in movie theaters. I walked away to get my Nicotine fix that was always important. But the worst behavior came out when we went for road trips. She never smoked and nobody smoked in her car. I didn’t smoke in her car either, but I rolled the window down, lit a cigarette almost hanging out of the car and blew the smoke against the wind. Did I really think it wouldn’t smell at all?

I didn’t notice it right away, but I noticed it when my husband, who still smokes, joined us. We drove in his car and watching him was like looking in the mirror and seeing myself in the past. Same behavior, same habits and excuses…I did the same thing, just a little bit over 9 months ago and now its bothering me. We took his car, since he wanted to smoke. There are two non-smokers in the car and you would think a smoker would show a little bit consideration…NOPE, he lit a cigarette each and every time we went back to the car…and of course smoked in the car.

I did the same thing for 35 years and it’s almost comical how much it bothers me now. The smell in my hair and in my clothes, I noticed that right away….and I couldn’t stand it.

Although, I noticed I did the same thing all the time to my friend. I tortured her with my smoking and my smoking habits and I did it for years. I never thought about it when I still smoked.

Bless her  heart, she never complained, she never said anything….but I did. I apologized to her and I meant it from the bottom of my heart. “My smoking must have driven you mad all this years…I am sorry”, she just gave me a hug and acted like it wasn’t a big deal. It was a big deal for me!

I will never ask my husband to stop smoking, I think he got the message anyway….HELLO I have a quit-smoking blog :-). We all have to decide for ourselves…nobody can make us stop smoking.