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I have spent the last week arguing with myself because I can’t argue with my friend. Her mind is made up. She will not fight cancer.
Tag: <span>pain</span>
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I woke up, that’s the most profound thing that happens every day so far – and I am grateful. As so often, I opened my eyes ten minutes before Alexa could play my wake-up song. A silly tune that makes me smile the same way I grinned when I was a young child.
“Move! Move as much and as often as you can.” How could she say that? I looked at her in absolute disbelief. She knew what I was going through.
The bright yellow turmeric drink “Golden Milk” is said to have healing effects and if you have a pain disease like me, or other health issues, you often find yourself desperately looking for magical potions or a miracle cure nobody else before you has thought of.
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Just a low dose, but still, it’s a chemo drug and I have mixed feelings.
It gave me my life back but took small pieces of my freedom as well.
A human hand is TICKLING a fish. A stingray, laying on its back, out of its element.
I had already checked out, my friend -as usual- took her time, she was not even near the register. I had time to kill, and I sat down on the bench close to the checkout and watched the people around me. I am in no hurry on Saturdays, I can piddle around as I please.
When I battled COVID for the second time at the beginning of this year, it threw my health up in the air and now, two months later, I am officially a bit out of whack -a tad wonky, out of balance, off-centered, and not too happy about it. The last two months have been more painful than usual.
I have a disease that can take up to fifteen years off my life expectancy, and I happen to find this highly inconvenient. I have been setting the age of my demise at 80′-something, so fifteen years less would mean I could say bye-bye with 65, which is just not an option. Don’t you dare cheat me out of my years!
“I am a patient” I whisper in my head
and I should be treated like one.
Please take care of me
as I lie in this bed
with my insides burning
scared to death of this disease.
My bones ache
I tremble and sweat
and cry staring out the window at the parking garage
where my car is, waiting for me to escape this nightmare.
I wish I could say I’m here because I’m brave
but the truth is I’m trapped here by my body’s rebellion