January is almost over and I still haven’t written my review of the year we just left behind. I don’t like walking backward into the future but feel I would if I don’t lay last year down to rest as a memory. It was an eventful year. Twelve months full of challenges, successes, and failures. Great movies and wonderful books were part of my journey, as were plastic bottles and dirty tubs.
If a ball doesn’t move the way they expect, physicists would be disappointed with their theory of gravitation, not with the ball. When people don’t behave the way we expect, we should be disappointed with our theories about people, not people.
“Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself.
Trying to become smaller.
Quieter.
Less sensitive.
I often had the feeling that I didn’t fit into this world. The feeling that the people I was surrounded by were somehow different from me, that they had completely different lifestyles, values, or views than I did, and that I did not SEE myself in any of them.
“You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself, it‘s also THE FLINCH.
As of today, 143,895 families and individuals have offered to take Ukraine refugees in, all together they have 327,844 beds available. All of them are private citizens mainly from Germany but also from neighboring countries, willing and eager to open their homes to Ukrainian (and Russian) refugees without hesitation.
In many ways, I live in luxury. A great luxury for me is to be able to choose the people around me. I don’t have to deal with everyone who gets put in front of my nose. I spend time with most people because I want it that way.
The more people I get to know, the more I love being by myself. The more I am by myself, the more questions I have. People have changed and I haven’t changed with them. I am stuck in a past that is long gone, and I find myself wondering where that leaves me.
too much
too little
too fat
too thin
or nobody.
The older I get, the less I like people, even though I love them. A while back our relationship shifted and I became very critical of my own kind.
Hell is -other people Satre once said and a shorter and truer statement has never been made. Does that mean “Heaven is -no people?” Wouldn’t that be the logical conclusion? But of course, life is not that simple. Alone is not good either, even though I happen to like to be with just me.