Tag: <span>Change</span>

“There is a kind of sadness that comes from knowing too much, from seeing the world as it truly is. It is the sadness of understanding that life is not a grand adventure, but a series of small, insignificant moments, that love is not a fairy tale, but a fragile, fleeting emotion, that happiness is not a permanent state, but a rare, fleeting glimpse of something we can never hold onto. And in that understanding, there is a profound loneliness, a sense of being cut off from the world, from other people, from oneself.”

Virginia Woolf

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Feeling so small,
and powerless.
Holding tight to my rowboat,
As the dark ocean waters,
storm both sides.
My matted hair, soaked,
covering my eyes.
I sail alone,
without direction.

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The wish to change is an urge that society plants in us and so from an early age on, we look at our flaws. Me? I am no exception. The last sixty years I found so many things wrong with me. I had an endless wishlist of things I needed to change dramatically and so I tried.

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After a diagnosis of an incurable disease, it takes a while until we understand what it actually means. I remember it so well. I knew my lab results would come in that day or the next and when I saw my doctor’s number coming up on my cellphone, I excused myself, grabbed my husband’s car keys, and walked out.

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A large group of American students waited at the airport to welcome the 23 German exchange students, who soon would arrive to would stay with them and their families for three weeks.

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. . .

The neighbor whose kids wave at your every morning

The nurse who takes care of your parents

The grocery clerk, who helps you find what you need

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How can 20 harmless-looking pills have such an impact? How do they manage to put so much power into something so small? Listening to my body is not an easy task.

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“You don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go. You don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years. This is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself, its also THE FLINCH.

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