I will not judge – I will not judge – I will not judge. Oh, what the heck. Hey, genius. It’s a baby book! “One of the worst pieces of…
Tag: <span>Smart Ass Tuesday</span>
“I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke-free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
“Death: “THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT.” Albert: “Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
Last night I made an audience laugh with just a few words. I couldn’t help it, the speaker had asked for it -I just obeyed.
Sarcasm. How it is feared and how it is loved. It can be a dangerous weapon and in the wrong hands it can bring destruction but used with care, it can bring laughter.
I mentioned all the issues I had run into, explained to her how I had fixed it. She looked at the finished old piece, and I could see how much she liked it.
“By the way, the chair was built March 1966,” I said and she looked at me with admiration.
“That’s amazing, how do you know,” she wanted to know.
Of course, I needed a Fitbit. Everybody else is wearing one and I wanted to try it as well -and why not. The goal is to walk at least 10,000 steps a day, and how much easier would it be to achieve it, with a wristband that would count and log all my efforts.
Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky. They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality.
Sick
“I cannot go to school today”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.