9/11/2001, that’s one of the days when we all remember exactly where we were when the attack happened. I was at my desk, saw the pictures of the burning Twin Towers, and closed my office and turned on the TV in the living room.
Tag: <span>forgiveness</span>
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The perfect question, at the ideal time. Exactly four weeks ago, on the night of February 6th to February 7th, I rested in a hospital bed and recovered from surgery.
Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Secretary Day, Valentine’s Day for lovers, Husband appreciation day, Wife Appreciation Day. Why do we have these special days? Is it because we have forgotten to show appreciation on a daily base. We sure still say PLEASE and THANK YOU, so why do we feel it is not enough?
I often babysit the neighbor’s kids or they babysit me -however you want to look at it- and there is a lot I learned from watching babies, toddlers and yes, even teenagers. I wondered if I am the only one who looks at it that way. Does not being a parent make me more of a pushover or perhaps more observant?
I have never written about my father or the sperm donor who gave me life. That’s how I liked to call him long before I was able to make peace with my parent’s shortcomings, and the part of my childhood that makes people uncomfortable.
He was born in March 1929 and had a normal childhood. He got drafted right out of school to serve Hitler in his army when he was just 13 years old. He was sent straight to the front in Russia, like so many of them. After a few days of training, they gave him a ‘Panzerfaust’ a German anti-tank weapon, used to blow up Russian tanks and for two years he tried to destroy as many as possible.
Imagine somewhere out of space and time, a room full of all the people you loved in your lifetime. Childhood friends and lovers, family, partners and spouses. Perhaps some would be surprised to find themselves in your room, because you never told them how you felt.
In this room full of people you love, would you be there too?
“Anger is like flowing water; there’s nothing wrong with it as long as you let it flow. Hate is like stagnant water; anger that you denied yourself the freedom to feel, the freedom to flow; water that you gathered in one place and left to forget. Stagnant water becomes dirty, stinky, disease-ridden, poisonous, deadly; that is your hate. On flowing water travels little paper boats; paper boats of forgiveness. Allow yourself to feel anger, allow your waters to flow, along with all the paper boats of forgiveness. Be human.”
Marlene had searched for her mother’s grave for a very long time.
All those years she had wondered what she would feel, surprisingly she didn’t feel anything.
I wrote to my Mother years ago, a letter that I never send, a letter that she never read. There was no need to send it, it wasn’t meant for her in the first place. I didn’t know if she was still alive or not, I didn’t know where she was and didn’t want to know.
Nope, I didn’t forget and I like it. I find the whole “Forgive and Forget thing” absolutely nonsense. I am not a computer, I can’t just press “delete” and voila, the memory is gone. It’s like being on a jury when you listen to a testimony, then the prosecution objects and you are asked to forget what you just heard. Really?